Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Pagan Values Month: Learning Morals from CSNY

...okay, all you 21st century people out there. We aren't talking about Crime Scene New York, okay?

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored" during Pagan Values Month! Teach your children well. Feed them on your dreams. The one they pick's the one you'll know by... or some such.

I've never gone in much for "Thou Shalt Not." What kind of moral code makes a long list of what you can't do? So, the Holy Bible doesn't work for "The Gods Are Bored."

The Wiccan Creed (shared by Druids), "An thou harm non, do what thou wilt," is very nice. And the more you think about it, the tougher it gets to live by it. Seriously. When you bite into a carrot, you're harming that carrot.

So, with the timeless logic and deep thinking that is characteristic of "The Gods Are Bored," I set out to find a moral code from the assorted flotsam that fills the Johnson brain.

Hello Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.


1. Teach your children well. (song of same name)
2. Stand up to tyranny. ("Ohio")
3. Embrace mysticism. ("Woodstock," "Marrakesh Express," etc.)
4. Employ sensible family planning. ("Love the One You're With")
5. Realize that some things are more important than money. ("Johnny's Garden")
6. Don't discriminate. ("Southern Man")
7. Tell a good story. ("Wooden Ships")
8. It doesn't always have to make sense. ("Helplessly Hoping")
9. Question all the answers. ("Wasted on the Way")
10. The One God Model has become corrupt. ("Winchester Cathedral")

So there you have it, my friends! A complete moral code, from a stoned group of rockers!

Best part is, this particular "Gods Are Bored" approach to morality seems to have worked for the ancient Celts and Norse peoples, because they sang about lots of stuff that we only read about today.

Yours from the intellectual stratosphere,
Anne Johnson, Phi Beta Kappa


Thalia Took said...

Bit of trivia: did you know the dude on the far right in that pic *didn't* make the audition for the Monkees? Ha!

(His roommate Pete did, though.)

Though on a serious note I have always found Crosby Stills & Nash's music to be very, very numinous. Very evocative, for me anyway. More evocative than stoned-sounding, I think.

THE Michael said...

Hear, Hear!

THE Michael, (Rama Lama Ding Dong)

Sarita said...

I like commandments 8 and 9. :)

yellowdog granny said...

I always said everything I learned about life I learned from rock and roll..until I discovered Willie Nelson..ha

Haley @ Iridescent Dark said...

Haha! Awesome =D

Cogent Ascending said...

Love this idea!
I am going to adapt it and make mention of your blog via link!
Thanks for the inspiration!

Anne Johnson said...

Wow, Cogent! You're welcome ... whew.

Alan Joel said...

Anne--What a fab and funny list! Love it. Enjoyed every second of it!

democommie said...


I will put on my reformationist hat and say that some of Neil Young's solo work should be included in any R&R scripture. Mainly the whole "Rust never sleeps" album, but certainly other stuff!

Is it okay to list Frank Z as one of the minor prophets?

perzephone said...

Hah, fantastic post!

the rev. paperboy said...

Democommie, you danged heathen, there is nothing minor about Frank Zappa and his prophecies, except for the occasional minor key.

Anne Johnson said...

The Heir is such a rock snob that she disdains Zappa in favor of The Residents. I'll take Saint Zappa, thanks.

LOL! Saint Zappa! Imagine having him as a patron saint!

the rev. paperboy said...

Let us not forget the other vital commandments

11. Solidarity (Almost Cut My Hair)

12 Courage ("A man's a man who looks a man right between the eyes)

In addition to the commandments, the work of the holy quartet also provides useful dogma and guidance for everyday life. For example, advice on the division of labor (As per "Our House" fire-lighting is my job, flower-arranging and pottery-buying are yours) to the keeping of livestock and pets (again "Our House" tell us the appropriate number of cats to keep in one's yard is no more and no less than two)
Praise them!

kim said...

Michael -- Are you by any chance related to my partner's old friend and guru Brahma Karma Rama Lama Ding Dong Johnson?

Anne said...

Yea verily, there are two cats in my yard, yes only two. But sometimes there's an extra one who stays and moves on. But that one's not in the yard, it's in a hutch.

Damn! Is religion ever easy to understand?