Oh, how we at "The Gods Are Bored" have strayed from our central theme: giving downsized deities a public platform! It's what put us on the map, so to speak, and has been a favorite pastime since 2005. Yep, that long.
And mostly this has been an uplifting and fun ride. (Ares is the exception, He speaks in all caps and sets the furniture on fire.)
Today I heard a lot of ruckus outside, and I do love me a good ruckus. Investigating, I found Loki on my front lawn, juggling squirrels. Even though the squirrels were having the time of their lives, I sensed that Loki had something to tell me, so I have invited Him inside. (I'm glad the house is a mess. He loathes a neat house.)
Please give a warm, wonderful "Gods Are Bored" welcome to Loki!
Anne: All hail, aww Hell, oh well, howdy, Loki! Sup, cuz?
Loki: More than the usual chaos, Annie.
Anne: You mean extra chaos? Please tell me it's the kind that leaves everyone out of breath laughing and maybe only a few new stains on the upholstery.
Loki (looking around): What could have possessed you to buy a white couch?
Anne: Would you believe it's my second white couch? I know I shouldn't, but I take pride in how little I've learned. Here's a piece of blueberry pie for you, and that wide, wide expanse of white couch ...
Loki: Hey Anne! Watch this!
[Insert laughing emoji]
Anne: At least pick up the big chunks, willya?
Loki: Sure! Because I see you also repainted the walls -- blushy white!
Anne: This is the silliest of questions, seeing as it's You, but is there a reason for Your visit? Other than giving the squirrels a joyride, I mean.
Loki: I am going to ask you to amplify a message for Me.
Anne: Only too glad to oblige, Tricky Sir.
Loki: The message has been reported seriously and factually here. It came through a Seeress.
Anne: For real, for real? I saw a possession ritual once, and it scared me snotless! I'll bet you put that poor Seeress through her paces. But listen. I know that many blog readers don't want to follow a link from one page to another, so can you tell me the message without possessing me? Or could you at least wait to possess me until the weekend, when I'm going to a LARP and there will be water mods?
Loki: Snap, I love water mods! I'm in!
Anne: But the message ...
Loki: Okay. Part one: Dig up the joy! Look at you and everyone around you. Misery, misery everywhere! You know, misery and joy are both contagious, like viruses. Spread the one, get vaxxed for the other.
Anne: But there's so much to be ...
Loki: You want to sprain an ankle before you get to the water mods? What did I just say?
Anne: Spread joy. Okay, I'll try!
Loki: DO I HAVE TO GO ALL YODA ON YOU, WOMAN? Do or do not, there is no try!
Anne: Got it. Another piece of pie?
Loki: Do you have that white quilt on the bed upstairs?
Anne: White is my failing. Is there more to the message?
Loki: Yep. You know all those plans you have to deck your classroom with witchy stuff and witchy books? Revise and edit those plans. It's not a safe time to be a Pagan in America.
Anne: Dang! You are the last one I ever thought I would hear say this. Go on the down low? A Norse God telling me to go on the down low? Knock me over with a feather!
Loki: Done! Shame to ruin such a nice pillow. But if I can be serious for half a minute, you heard Me right. You are more valuable alive than you are as a martyr. And there are a lot of Christian wingnuts out there with guns, looking to create martyrs.
Anne: I've always had a sneaking suspicion that martyrdom is overrated.
Loki: Yep. So dial back the righteous protest over your Supreme Court's religious rulings. Because this is the remainder of my message: Time will catch up with these fools. All of them. Yes, you can expect some rough sledding. It's dangerous right now. We deities are feeling it as well. But when the smoke clears, some people will walk away like Mad Max, bruised but unbeaten. And those people will rebuild.
Anne: But Mad Max didn't rebuild, he just tramped off into the Outback...
Loki: Let's see what happens if I hold this feather pillow up to the fan ...
Anne: NO! NO! I GOT YOU, BRO! I hear you! Only to glad to amplify the message!
Loki: Thanks. And again, for more details, your fans can go here. Now. About those water mods...
Anne: You'll need a swimsuit that's at least passably in-game.
Loki: Everything I own slips nimbly into a LARP.
Anne: I daresay. Anyway, I'm going to the game on Saturday. Meet me here at 9:00, and please don't do that thing with the bugs and the windshield like you did last time.
Loki: Don't worry, Annie. Last time we didn't have anywhere important to go.
Image: Thalia Took