Just carved four pumpkins in 90 minutes (no record, I'm sure). "Gnome Henge" (circle of lawn gnomes) firmly established in front yard, with the pumpkins facing the Four Quarters.
It's just barely warm enough to put Decibel the Parrot on the front porch to greet the Trick or Treaters. On his cage is a sign featuring Captain Jack Sparrow and saying, "Don't Touch Me Parrot, Mate."
Last year the sign said, "Fingers. The Other White Meat."
The year before that it said, "Got Fingers?"
Two decades ago I wouldn't have dreamed of having a tropical parrot on the porch at Halloween. It was too cold. But Decibel likes to laugh when he isn't screaming loud enough to be heard two blocks away, so he enjoys the Trick or Treaters.
Do not construe this as a defense of global warming.
Okay. I have to explain my "Gods Are Bored" poll. You the reader will decide what I should do!
This afternoon I arrived at the Middle School in my economy car to find my daughter The Spare and seven of her friends awaiting a ride across town to our home. You do the math. One of them asked to go in the trunk, for the love of fruit flies! Thankfully, the Fighting Wombat Mascot costume is in the trunk, and you know economy cars. There ain't room for much else if you've got a Wombat costume in the trunk.
I stuffed five kids in the car. The other two volunteered to walk, which was pretty doggone knightly of them.
So I'm driving with a tall 8th grade boy next to me in the front passenger seat. I've never met him, but he's nerdy enough. He gets a cell call from his mom. She reminds him that he has to be at All Souls' Mass at 7:00 p.m.
Maybe I've been under a rock too long. I didn't know that Roman Catholics actually have a SPECIAL MASS on Halloween.
I've got no truck with "Mr. Applegate," my infrequent guest-blogger (and whiner extraordinaire), but oh please! A Christian Mass on Halloween?
So I'm in the kitchen, carving pumpkins, and thinking about the Roman Catholic church. There's a pretty gray brick one standing one block from my house.
I picture all the most raccoon-ravaged Catholics converging on the sanctuary at 7:00 to participate in a ceremony that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR FAITH AT ALL.
And it occurs to me to create a sign that says:
"Halloween is a Pagan holiday. We want it back!"
... and discreetly tape it to the church door during the service.
Yeah, I would wear black clothes and run like an arthritic, bursitic geezer rabbit, so don't paint me as a modern Martin Luther or anything.
Trouble is, I'm conflicted about this. Should I do it or not?
It's too late to make a decision this year. That's why I'm leaving it up to you, dear reader.
Should I do the semi-demi-mini Martin Luther thing, or not, next year at Halloween 2008?
Vote with the Comment button. Vote early and often and pro Green Party.
PAGAN NEIGHBOR TO CHRIST THE KING CHURCH OF SNOBVILLE, USA
PS - I was pretty tired when I came home from work today (yeah, working on a High Holy Day ... my deities understand I need the dough). But this little bit of info galvanized me, and the Johnson Personal Samhain Ritual is a GO.
We want our holy day back.
Another extra: I just answered the door to a Trick or Treater, about seven years of age, all alone, dressed in a tie-dyed shirt and round sunglasses. Taped to his shirt: "Long Live John Lennon."
I think I'm going to run out of candy. That kid just walked off with the motherlode.