Wednesday, June 24, 2009

No Tithes or Offerings, Thank You

Welcome to "The Gods Are Not Yet Boarded Up!" My name is Anne Johnson. There are 525 Anne Johnsons on Facebook, but only one in Philadelphia with the same profile picture you see on your right.

Things were getting so desperate here at "The Gods Are Bored" that I feared I would have to slap some ads onto this blog just to get a little extra income. I am pleased to report that "The Gods Are Bored" will continue to be brought to you free of charge and free of subliminal messages!

Well, maybe I'll throw a few subliminalsendanneyourdoughmessages from time to time. Can't hurt. Ask any Army vet from the Cold War era.

Here's today's sermon:

Three months ago, my faerie named Princess fell from my neck onto the floor at the Vo-Tech. The only part of Princess that shattered was the little loop through which you thread a string. I took Princess to the shop where I got her, but the owner said Princess couldn't be fixed. My only option would be to wrap Princess in wire and string her up that way.

The store owner said Princess might have been sending me a message. Princess might want to stay home and guard the house.

For many, many years my family has lived under the anxiety of looming job loss. You see, Mr. Johnson is a print journalist. He has been a newspaper reporter his entire career -- 31 years to date. For more than 20 of those 31 years, we've been waiting for the axe to fall.

Instead, Princess fell. At school. And I now have a full-time teaching job.

Princess will be at home, guarding the house, while I wade into a new profession and try to sink roots into it.

Some major Goddess assistance will be needed for me to succeed. I'll be taxed to my limits (perhaps beyond) simply in pursuit of security for my family. And the way I'll have to purchase that security is by making a positive difference in 140 lives per day.

Princess has even (I hope) forecast my potential in this new profession. She fell from my neck right between two of the rowdiest students in the junior class. They helped me to find the shards of glass. I pricked my finger on one of the shards, and my finger bled.

So, not without pain, but perhaps with some cooperation in the right places, I will embark on this journey to Planet X.

My faerie Puck will be along for the ride. But only after I'm sure his string is strong enough to hold his cheeky little butt.

Thank you to all who wished me well! Maybe I should send you money!


Mama Kelly said...

Congrats on the new job!!!!

Sarita said...

Sounds like you should do well, however much of a challenge it turns out to be! :D

Maeve said...

My mother is a teacher, so I know what you speak of when you talk about the paperwork and scrutiny. I wish you well! I think your students are going to be very lucky to have you as one of their teachers.

THE Michael said...

May the Lords of Kolbal.......oh, wait, excuse me, I've been watching BattleStar Galactica.......May the GODS of your favorite pantheon have your back as you plow the hallowed halls of macadamia...I mean, academia........whatever....GOOD LUCK!

Sarita said...

Anne, I know this is a weird place to ask a question (especially that's unrelated to the topic) but I just realized that you might have an answer to something I've been wondering about.

When I was in first grade my parents got me a "kitty." This kitty wasn't so small, and had actually been through one or two (or even three??) homes before he came to us. It's now about fourteen years later, and he's never attached himself to anyone in particular in the family, unlike most cats. He does mostly come to my mom or me, but he hasn't chosen one of us as "his person." I used to think that was just his personality, but now I'm wondering if that could be due to going through several homes before coming to us as a kitten.

I was thinking you might know, since you foster cats and are in the loop as to what happens when a kitty goes through multiple places before finding a permanent home.

This isn't a huge issue, but it's just something I've been wondering about.

Anne Johnson said...

Yes. Your kitty learned young that it couldn't put its whole faith in one person. Unfortunately, what we learn early in life often sticks with us. I don't care what anyone says, cats are quick studies. They learn.

Also, individual cats have individual personalities. Not all of them latch onto one favorite person, even if that person is the sole care provider.

My cat Alpha came to me after her family moved away and left her behind. She nearly starved outdoors while waiting for her people to return. She is now fourteen. Whenever a stranger comes into our house, Alpha immediately tries to bond with that person, whether the person likes cats or not. Alpha is afraid we'll move away and this new person will move in. Also, when we go away on vacation, Alpha stays indoors the whole time. Usually she's an indoor-outdoor cat, but she won't leave the house when we're not around.