Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Someone had better throw some gold into the Gulf of Mexico. The bored god Hurracan hasn't ever been as steamed up as He's been in the past decade. Hey, don't blame Him. He's just getting tight on CO2 ... our bad, not His.
As you probably know by now, I'm going to the hospital on Tuesday for an extended stay. Hopefully. Because, you know, if you show up with the sniffles they send you home, and it's goldenrod season.
I had a Mennonite friend named Lewis. He was a swell guy, may he rest in peace. During his final illness he was sent to a Mennonite nursing home. There he broke his "Patience Extender." That happens all the time in nursing homes.
This afternoon I didn't break my personal Patience Extender, but I sure dented the hell out of it. So just now I went out and bought a brand new one to take with me to the hospital. It is state of the art. The warranty says it will keep you patient through eight years of a bad presidential administration. It's certified for use with a newborn baby. But what settled me on paying more for the Patience Extender Model #23 was the fact that it has been tested on the New Jersey Turnpike by daily commuters from Philly to NYC. A ringing endorsement!
One cannot live with a macaw and not have a Patience Extender. I can't recommend enough that you get one if things in your life piss you off. At the very least, you should never go to the hospital without one.