Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored" on this, the worst day of the year!
What? You think nothing could best Friday the 13th?
Ha ha ha! You don't have a 13-year-old daughter, celebrating her birthday with 30 of her closest friends in your living room!
Is there a bored god of total mayhem? Ah, yes. Bacchus. Let's give a warm, "The Gods Are Bored" welcome to Bacchus, god of rowdy parties!
What am I thinking! The Spare is only 13!
Bacchus, be on your way. I've got to get back downstairs.
Reader, next time you're feeling sorry for yourself, think of this: My daughter The Spare was born on APRIL 15!
I thought of naming her Iris. Get it?
THE MERLIN OF MAYHEM