Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where today we will talk about The Most Important Person in the World!
Ha ha. I'll bet you thought you were the most important person in the world! Forget it. Step aside. Please be advised that Most Important Person in the World has been filled. We are no longer accepting applications.
You know how sometimes there are blogs where the most important part is the Comments? That's how it's been here at "The Gods Are Bored" two days running.
Yesterday we heard from the Most Important Person in the World!
That would be my daughter, The Spare. I guess Club Penguin got old and no one was texting her cell.
First of all: Why do I call her "The Spare?"
Because once I heard some snarky British dude call the late Princess Diana's sons "The Heir and The Spare," adding that Diana had performed the only duty she needed to accomplish by giving birth to them.
So, when I commenced this blog, wishing to shield the identity of my daughters (who are not named Anne Johnson, alas!), I decided to call them The Heir and The Spare.
So, with no further ado, here is The Spare, The Most Important Person in the World!
That's her in front.
The Spare hates this picture, but since she's such a drop-dead beauty I don't like to use anything stronger for display here at "The Gods Are Bored." This picture was snapped last Labor Day at a huge union rally in Philly. Trust me, The Spare would never never never wear a baggy t-shirt to anything but a union rally! She is all about style, yo.
I like this snapshot because this is often the face she makes when I drag her to some weird thing like a union rally or a fairie festival. Then she has a blast, and the skeptical "what the f***?" look disappears.
Talk about a total package! The Heir is:
witty, pretty, quick with a quip, dramatic, tempestuous, a trend-setter, a go-getter, and exactly the person you want at your right elbow when your health slips a tad.
She can cook a whole dinner. She can take the lead in a play and run with it.
She hates George Bush. She loves shopping. (She just told me that. She might as well have said she loves Arctic exploration, because her chances of doing that are as good as her chances of shopping.)
Because of The Spare, this family knows the Monkey Man.
Because of The Spare, this family has two cats.
Because of The Spare, 125 disabled veterans of World War II have new bedroom slippers.
Because of The Spare, two grandpas had reason to smile in their old age.
Because of The Spare, Iron Chef Cat Cora had better run, cuz she can't hide.
So, The Spare is a lot more than just an extra kid. She is The Most Important Person in the World, and I would never let her go fight in Iraq with that OTHER Spare.
I love her a whole lot more than that.
PROUD MOTHER, THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD