Monday, April 16, 2007

Click It or Ticket

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where your pantheon is our pantheon! We believe in the big, broad, flexible outlook in all matters except upholstery maintenance.

Yesterday we at "The Gods Are Bored" got all snarky about New Jersey's governor. He got busted up big time in an auto accident because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

We urge all of our readers to take that little strap of high-density fibers and wrap it around you snugly when you climb into your car or truck or (snort) SUV. Click it or ticket. And, while you're at it, treat that seat belt like upholstery. Yours had better be pristine when I hop into your passenger seat, or I won't go bowl duckpins with you, no sirree.

What happens if you aren't wearing your seatbelt when, say, the bloke in front of you brakes for a deer? You might wind up with 11 broken ribs, a severely shattered tibia, a broken collarbone, a broken sternum, a fractured vertebra, and contusions. That's the partial list for Governor Corzine.

Wear the doggone seatbelt, for the love of fruit flies!

At the same time, we at "The Gods Are Bored" should not have been snarky about Gov. C. He is in very bad shape. He'll live, but it's gonna be a long, nasty recovery with quantities of pain that many of us are fortunate to avoid. So we at "The Gods Are Bored" apologize for our nasty remarks.

I think it was Newton's First Law, or some other silly myth from the past, that says "a body in motion stays in motion." Ergo, if you're in a car going 60 m.p.h., and the car stops suddenly, you the passenger are gonna keep rockin' on at 60 m.p.h. until you collide with something that's not in motion.


Of course, that's only if you believe the silly old myth that a body in motion stays in motion. Heck, that's only a scientific theory. Not a fact. If you want facts you'd better rip that Bible off the shelf and see what it says about wearing seatbelts in your traveling machine with an internal combustion engine.

Thanx to Rosie at Smokey Mountain Breakdown for the picture of Bridey the Goat.


Rosie said...

Bridey always wears her seatbelt. She's funny that way.

Have you done the Thinking Blogger Award meme yet? I've just been tagged and will tag you if you haven't done it yet.

Tennessee Jed said...


What would Jesus drive?

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

An ass.

Or, at least, that's what his mom rode.

I hate seatbelts, but I do like not having my nose & cheekbones shattered by the airbag, so I wear the damned seatbelt.

I bet Noah didn't have seatbelts on that fuckin' ark, now did he.

BBC said...

I don't like how the one in my rig fits, but I still use it. The air bag is disconnected though. I can't stand the thought of ramming my finger into my brain if it goes off while picking my nose.

I seldom go out of town anymore an travel at high speeds so it's of little use to me anyway.

Anne Johnson said...

Haven't had the Thinking Blogger meme. But guilty as charged on picking nose while driving. Maybe I'd better disconnect my air bag.