Tuesday, February 20, 2007

RU Raptor Ready #2: Free at Last

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," or, if you prefer, Buzzard Central. We just can't understand why anyone would refuse the life-changing opportunity to worship vultures.

And yet, day after day, we go knocking on doors, spreading the message of hope and purity, and people just look at us like we're weird. We even wear nice clothes and offer free vulture feathers. Not one convert. It's disheartening.

We guess Buzzard Heaven is going to be one wide-open playground. A few Egyptians, a few awesome Native Americans, and lots of magnificent aerial bliss.

Go ahead. Sit on your old cloud with your harp. We'll buzz right past ya. (Pardon the pun.)

This just in from Buzzard Central:
The East Coast Vulture Festival will feature a moment of worship that will kindle a flame in the coldest heart.

Last week a wounded vulture was found in the vicinity of the festival. The sacred bird was too weak to elude capture. It was taken to a wildlife rehabilitation clinic. There it has improved day by day. It is almost well.

On March 3, as part of the Vulture Fest, the wildlife rehab people will release the restored vulture so it can return to the flock. It probably has pair-bonded with a mate who has been searching frantically for it.

In the great grand scheme of things, one rescued vulture doesn't amount to a whole lot. That is, of course, unless you worship vultures. Then it's nothing short of a miracle. Who says miracles can only happen to people? Anything done for a Sacred Golden Purifier is an act of worship!

A quick note: It is illegal to keep vultures as pets. If you find a stranded baby vulture, leave it alone. Its parents are probably close by. If you see a wounded vulture, call Animal Control.

Another quick note: I guess it's a damn good thing it's illegal to keep vultures as pets, at least from my point of view.



BBC said...

You're really into this Buzzard and Vulture stuff aren't you?

Such a festival might be interesting.

Any happy pagan naked dancing there?

If so.

I'm in.


Anne Johnson said...

In fact I will be wearing a full vulture costume with feet, head, and feathers.

BBC said...

Seems strange to me. But more peaceful than what the stupid Christians do.

Carry on then. Hugs.

Interrobang said...

Anne -- Thanks for your comment on my blog. I would be delighted to write such an essay. The basics are really not hard; just act in real life like you'd act on the internet, where no one knows you're a dog (or a gimp, for that matter). :)

Would you do me a favour and e-mail me? My e-mail is interroblog at gmail dot com. Thanks.