Wednesday, August 06, 2008

This Works on Every Level

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" This morning we're finding religion and social justice in up-ended junk stock cars! Pinch me on this one, I think I'm dreaming.

An Ogden, Utah farmer found his life transformed when a developer put in a subdivision at the edge of his farm.

The newly-built "luxury homes" sold pretty quickly, because everyone likes to gaze out on a peaceful farm scene as they gulp their coffee in preparation for a long commute to work.

But then reality set in. Because the farmer really does farm. He has cows. They eliminate waste, and the product does not smell nice. He also makes hay, which makes dust, which rises through the air and lands on upholstery. And all that machinery! It's noisy!

The farmer's neighbors complained. He offered to split the price of a privacy fence. They declined, saying that they didn't want to ruin their view of his pretty property.

So the farmer evoked the bored gods. He went out and got a few junked stock cars, fired up the backhoe, and upended those suckers in the ground, in a nice array, at the edge of his property.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you

REDNECK STONEHENGE



That's what this inspired farmer called his creation.


I remember sitting in the breakfast nook of my sister's new "luxury home," staring down upon a pair of unhappy Old Order Mennonites as they did their farm chores with full knowledge that they were being gawked at. I thought to myself, "Gosh, if I suddenly found myself surrounded by monstrosities of vinyl siding on every boundary line, I think I'd just shuck my clothes and start doing my work buck naked."

Oh, my lack of imagination! Why work naked amongst horse flies when you can erect a henge? Heck, you don't need old cars. You could use just about anything stiff enough to stack. Like laundry baskets. Or junked computers. Or random pieces of furniture, trash-picked from sidewalks.

Of course, all of that pales in the presence of a Car Henge, but we can't all operate back hoes.

If you need a henge in your life, beseech the wisdom of the bored gods. They will help you with your creation. And those pesky neighbors deserve just what they get.

Our operators are standing by to take your call.

9 comments:

Nettle said...

"Building a henge, are we? That's a fantastic idea!"

I just got back from a week at my mom's place in Nowhere, NH. No visible neighbors and no appeal for the McMansion crowd - it's too long a commute even for them, and all the touristy stuff is on the other side of the mountain. I was strongly tempted to rebel and just stay there, but Mr. Nettle reminded me that we had to go back for the sake of the cats.

While there, we scouted out the perfect spot for a henge. On a hilltop in the middle of a pasture, great views all the way around.

harmonyfb said...

I grew up out in the country in Tennessee. When I was in high school and college, the area started to be invaded by rich yankees who built mcmansions and expected to rule the roost.

So one neighbor (down the road a ways, but right across the road from the brand new McMansion) wanted to start an auto shop on his property. Nobody in the neighborhood (you know, all six of us) objected to his variance - except for the McMansions, who pitched such a fit about it that they got his variance blocked.

So he started raising pigs instead. Pigsties as far as the eye could see along his front fenceline. The McMansions pitched a fit about that, too - and got told to stuff it, because the land was zoned agricultural. Heh.

(There was another one down the road a ways, too - those folks moved in next door to a farmer and caused such a ruckus that he put chickens all the way down the fence line.)

Sadly, now the entire area has been yuppified.

Peg said...

It's a great idea even if he's not the first. There's been similar "art work" near Amarillo, TX since 1974 -- "Cadillac Ranch".

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2220

sageweb said...

I love that guy. He makes me happy.

THE Michael said...

He was there first. They can just shut up about it......

yellowdog granny said...

ahh he stole the idea from a guy in texas who has the 'cadillac ranch'..it's nothing but cadd's all up ended all over his ranch...I think he'd really get their goat if he did do his farming nekkid...betcha they'd go in for the fence then...snort*

Pom said...

There is also a place in Alliance, Nebraska already dubbed "CarHenge" est. 1987 (dediction at Summer Solstice of that year). Difficult to find and sadly neglected last time we were there many moons ago. Though you can manage gorgeous pics of it at the right time of day - sometimes photos are better than the real thing.

Check out this website for further information http://www.carhenge.com/index.htm

Blessings,
Pom

wordwitch said...

There's a small turkey farm in the middle of the city I grew up in - a very suburban city too. It stood rather isolated until just a few years ago, when some developer put in a small set of streets with medium-sized homes - all finished in the early spring...so when summer hit and the turkeys started growing (in prep for thanksgiving) the homeowners started complaining....but the farm is still there. Stupid homeowners. If you buy next to a farm, be prepared to buy all of the dust, smell, and noise.

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