Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," my lieblings! I'm Anne, and this is my friend, Psyduck.
For those of you who are too young (or too old) to recognize this cute lil' quacker, he's a Pokemon. All Pokemon have some sort of unique power. Psyduck's is psychic. He can bend your mind. Or so my daughter The Heir once told me. She played with Pokemon cards back in the day. And it's a long-ago day now. Gosh, a decade almost.
This week here at "The Gods Are Bored," we've been cruising through a book called Deliver Us from Evil, by Cindy Jacobs. The book is all about protecting your innocent youngsters from the evil influence of the occult. We are now on Chapter Three, and the going gets more nauseating all the time.
The chapter is entitled "Child's Play." It concerns itself with two terrible, horrible demonic influences on innocent tots: the aforementioned Pokemon, and that good ol' standby, Harry Potter. With a few potshots at the venerable realm of the ueber-nerd, Dungeons and Dragons.
Deliver Us from Evil was published in 2001, and it just goes to show you how quickly fads rise and fall. My daughter The Heir used to love Pokemon. Today, I'll bet you could turn this house inside out and not find a single Pokemon card. Even one that the faeries might have hidden really, really well.
Did Psyduck drag my daughter into black lipstick, Marilyn Manson concerts, and the ritual slaughter of gerbils? Oops, sorry. No.
Too many lovely trees have been killed and pulped to warn good Christians about Harry Potter. But I'd love to have the forest that's been pulped to produce the Potter books themselves. The final installment, Deathly Hallows, was said to have sold more than 8 million copies in the first 24 hours of its release. Add to that the Nielson-estimated 27.7 million copies of the previous installments, and you've got the Library of Congress, by J.K. Rowling.
Cindy Jacobs warns that reading Harry Potter will make your kid want to be a witch or a wizard. Would that it were true! We'd have so many kids clamoring for Pagan education we wouldn't know how to handle it! Eight million youngsters, all wanting wands simultaneously? Gosh, there goes another forest!
I have not yet had to wax righteously indignant over Mrs. Jacobs's book, but now I've got her firmly affixed to the Annie Blacklist. After excoriating violent video games (can't say I disagree with that), Mrs. Jacobs has this to say about the ... violent video games the U.S. government uses to train soldiers:
"I am not criticizing the military for its legitimate use of video games in training. That is very different from kids being amused through violent and demonic fantasy."
Indeed, Mrs. Jacobs? Exactly how is it different? You claim that violent video games turn youngsters into serial killers, and then you don't criticize the military for doing the same thing?
The U.S. government has been using video games to create lethal soldiers since the Vietnam War. Is it coincidental, then, that our nation's soldiers often return from battle to become spouse-abusers, drug abusers, homeless and psychotic? Oh, but that's okay. They're soldiers, not serial killers.
You want sin, Mrs. Jacobs? Killing another human being is a sin. Just ask the Quakers and the Mennonites. In other words, ask the real Christians, not the "gosh, why don't my books sell as well as Harry Potter" people like yourself.
More on this moron anon.
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS