Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Labor Day 2006: A Family Values Thing

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" You're just in time for our awesome Labor Day Awareness Series! Brought to you by Organized Labor - the folks who invented the weekend.

But isn't this a theology site? Well, here's our two-pronged mission:

1. We recognize that many gods and goddesses have been downsized and laid off by The Man (Celestial), so we support those gods and goddesses.

2. We recognize that humans can also be downsized and laid off by The Man (Temporal), so we support Organized Labor and women's rights.

Got that?

Last year, a leading moron named Rick Santorum published a book called It Takes a Family. I didn't read the book myself, but the gist is that you need to spend time with your kids and teach them values.

Okay, I actually don't have a problem with that.

Yesterday I took my daughters, The Heir and The Spare to Philadelphia's annual Labor Day parade. We marched with Mr. Johnson's union. We got matching t-shirts. We got to hear rousing pro-labor speeches.

This seemed to have a particularly profound impact on The Heir, who is 17 and will be a registered voter this time next year.

There were 12,000 union workers at the parade, all marching with their locals, all in matching t-shirts. Over the next few days, we'll be posting Kodak moments so you can see them.

If you had interviewed every man, woman, and child in the 15-block march, I doubt if you would have found a single one willing to vote for Rick Santorum.

Are you hearing me, Rick? Some families don't value you and are teaching their children not to value your political party. I'm one of them, and I thank you for encouraging me to instill Blue values in my kids.

And, by the way, Rick: If that really was you that my husband's co-worker saw at the edge of the Steelworker's headquarters, in your phony blue denim workshirt and jean jacket, I can only say that you were a wise man not to seek to speak from the podium.

And second, if it was you, what the heck? It was Labor Day! Shouldn't you have been home having a picnic with your wife and kids? Where are your family values?

No comments: