Dumb Design. Really Dumb Design.

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" We never cease to marvel at the Intelligent Design of the Universe. At least from the point of view of the cockroach.

I've been reading a special edition of Scientific American magazine on human evolution. Sort of catching up on the advances in the field since I was an undergrad at Billy Bob Agricultural University (BBAU).

Okay, this is not the place for a crash course on human evolution. Suffice it to say that we at "The Gods Are Bored" don't believe some bearded white dude with nothing better to do created all of this in six days.

What I find most interesting is the dating of Homo sapiens. That's us, folks. The latest figures put us into play around 200,000 years ago, with things breaking big culture-wise about 100,000 years ago.

Let's do the math. Let's assume for the sake of argument that, on average, Homo sapiens has produced a new generation six times each century. That's 33,333 generations in 200,000 years. 16,666 in 100,000 years (Oooooooo! Any importance to that 666????)

Now think of your favorite ballpark. How many seats does it have? I'm partial to the University of Michigan football stadium. 16,666 fans would fill less than 20 percent of the seats.

What a fine contribution to old Planet Earth we've turned out to be! In less than 17,000 generations, we've disastrously overpopulated, turned on each other with ever more sophisticated weapons, and now we're clobbering the global climate.

Gosh. At this rate we could annihilate ourselves in a miniscule geologic eyeblink. Can we possibly be the apex of Intelligent Design?

You see, this is why I don't worry about global warming. A species that can bring deterioration to a planet in a mere 17,000 generations is gonna pass quicker than that subliminal message for Pepsi in the movie frame. We may take truckloads of species with us when we go, but hey. Gaia has rebounded from worse.

Yes, I love my kids and I don't want to see them fry in a global greenhouse. But let's face facts. Humans are a dumb design, a glitch in the software. If you've ever seen a cockroach frozen in solid amber, you get the feeling that they've got it licked, and we're just plain doomed.

Have a great day!

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS