Monday, January 09, 2006

Alito Optimism on Justice Monday

Last chance 1/10/06! Nominate "The Gods Are Bored" for a Bloggie!

Winner gets $21.50. Enough for a movie and popcorn! Send Anne to see Brokeback Mountain a second time!

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Which would you rather have, a single orange or a whole doggone orchard?

Let's put it another way. Suppose you had to marry the person your parents chose for you when you were a toddler, you had no choice, and you had to stay with that person forever.

Why the heck do people approach religion that way? No one's forcing you to stick to that little white church in the dale.

At least not yet.

You might have missed Anne's pithy essays on the New World Order and how to make it work for you. To summarize, Anne said, don't wait for the New World Order to grab you and brainwash you, volunteer right away! That way you get first crack at all the good drugs, the best bunker, and a posh assignment to murder some head of state in a lovely location.

It is this same philosophy that drives Anne's proposal that the U.S. Senate quickly seat Judge Samuel Alito-bit-o'-cunning. Bring him on! Let's measure this guy for the right robes so he doesn't trip and fall as he takes his chair and starts tipping the balance of the court to the far, far, right!

With the solid support of guys like Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, and the peerless Rick Santorum, Judge Alito promises to be a Blue Nightmare, the Wrath of God Made Flesh and Come to Judge the Quick and the Dying.

People. People. What do we know about human nature? Things have to get butt ugly, worse, and then crash before the common mortal sits up and says, "Gosh, this was butt ugly, but now it's terrible."

And a Supreme Court stacked to the plimsol line with young, conservative judges will be terrible. Make no mistake about it. If you're not wealthy, bigoted, or environmentally insensitive, this guy's gonna feel like ice between your toes. If you're a woman of childbearing age, he's gonna feel like some sicko staring up your skirt. If you think this nation should be making efforts to boost the fortunes of the underclass, Alito's gonna seem like The Before Picture of Uncle Scrooge.

And maybe that's just what we need.

Perhaps we should sit back, relax, and let the Religious Right run everything for a few years.

A few years, that's all it would take. And then the vast majority of Americans would start to hear a persistent gurgling sound, sort of like waste water being sucked into a storm drain.

Remember, it takes a Titanic to bring a little matter like adequate lifeboat space to light. Sometimes the only way to fix a creaky house is to let it crash and burn and start from scratch.

Don't know about you, but I see Alito as the kerosene being splashed on the creaky house. And the house is gonna crash and burn, a lot of us are going to be crushed by it, but the rest will finally stand up and say:

"We shall overcome."

Justice Sam Alito, Come on Down! The Price Is Right! Right! Right! Right!


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1 comment:

Athana said...

Anne of Berkely Springs, you have been nominated for a Bloggie Award! By at least one person (me) if not more.

I listened to Mr. Alito on CSPAN today. I HATE how good he sounds. And he looks good, too. Just the right expressions on his face at every turn, just the right words on his sliver tongue. I'm afraid Cousin Doris the Born-Again and her ilk will be smitten immediately.