Dean's Christmas Poetry

Reggie White Sacks Another Quarterback. A Devout Christian, White Would Not Let His Family Celebrate Christmas, Calling it a Pagan Holiday

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where you can shop online for ideas and laughs. We'll even get them to you by Xmas.

Due to a case of the CHRISTmas blues, Anne has gone AWOL. I've stepped in for her. You can call me "Mr. Applegate." I'm not a bored god, but I sure am burned out. (Pardon the pun.)

Anne went to see "Brokeback Mountain" yesterday. She'll go to anything with "Mountain" in the title. When she came home she looked like she was going to howl at the moon and punch a hole through the wall. Sometimes she'll belly up to a flick that hits too close to home. I know, because she used to be a Christian (a Methodist of all things), and that put her in my praise and worship team.

Now that Anne's not in my praise and worship team anymore, it's none of my business how she conducts her life. Thank goodness. I have enough on my hands. One more unemployed goat judge I do not need.

So, I was rifling through Anne's stuff, and I found some old verses by a long-lost friend of hers, Dean Dauphinais of Detroit, Michigan. Dean and Anne worked together at Goats R Us in Saline, Michigan.

Dean waxed particularly creative at Christmas time. Here are a few of his verses that he put in his home made cards:

Born in a manger
Died on a cross
Never had turkey
And cranberry sauce.

Died on a cross
Born in a manger
Never saw Batman
Or the Lone Ranger.

Anne had this one circled:

Born in a manger
Died on a cross
Never saw quarterbacks
Sacked for a loss.

If my boss finds out about this post, he'll send Reggie White to sack me.

SEE YOU SOON
MR. APPLEGATE