Dr. Turnpike; Or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love New Jersey
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," truly and honestly produced daily in the state of New Jersey!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry to burst the bubble of all youse who thought I lived in Berkeley Springs. I grew up near Berkeley Springs. Now I live in Jersey.
You gotta problem widdat?
If youse do, getta loada dis:
All youse bloggers from da Left are runnin out ta mail yer letters to yer senators about dis torture crap. And I'm wicha a hunnerd percent. Only I'm up $1.17 because I know sure as Bada Bing that my Jersey senators ain't gonna vote fer dat shit. And my Congressman would run nekked up the Turnpike before he went along widdat.
So we might have our problems here in Jersey, but sure as hell they don't include fedral lawmen wid imperial ambitions.
Now I godda go an close my windows, cuz there was a raw sewage spill in the pond cross the way and it's geddin ripe in here. And I ain't jokin bout dat.
FROM ANNIE SOPRANO
THE MERLIN OF HOBOKEN