Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where we stray from our mission more than we serve it! (This makes us human.)
I've been thinking lately about how stupid I am when it comes to computers and their technology. I'm old enough to remember the first word processors that were sold for use -- first in universities, then in business. Back in the day, I was one of the first to use the computer that was installed at the company where I worked. Alas, my ground-breaking days are long gone. Computers have moved far more swiftly than my ability to understand them.
This is the moment when I have to get my arms around computers. "Woe is me," I thought. "There's no bored deity who understands web design and coding!"
Please give a warm, wonderful "Gods Are Bored" welcome to Minerva, ancient Goddess of Wisdom, who has come here today for a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs, muffins, and local blueberries!
Minerva: It wants to visit with Decibel the parrot.
Anne: Have at it, owl! Steer clear of Decibel's beak.
Minerva: Anne this is a wise owl. Can I have some blueberries?
Anne: Help yourself! Minerva, I have a problem. This whole computer technology has eluded me. I want my students to be able to use their smart phones in class, but I'm so stupid with my phone that I hesitate to try it. I read all the time in the newspaper that coding is the latest and greatest job-creator, and I would like to help my students learn it. But I myself know next to nothing about coding.
Minerva: Ha! Coding is a snap! Can I see your computer?
[Minerva taps a few keys on Anne's laptop. The machine leaves the table and starts to do the breakfast dishes.]
Anne: How did you do that?
Minerva: I'm a Goddess of wisdom. These days, wisdom includes computer technology. Do you know how much time I have on My hands in this desperately dark era? Enough to hang out at MIT -- and in the basements of geeks looking for vulnerabilities to exploit in software applications. By the way ... that weird Russian message in your email inbox? Change your password.
Anne: So, will you teach me coding?
Minerva: What, do you want Me to wave some magic wand and make you a geek? Slacker! Teach yourself! How do you think your students got way ahead of you? They weren't praying to Me, that much I know. They were working. Experimenting. Sharing knowledge. Want to be humbled? Ask your students to teach coding to you.
Anne: Wise Goddess. I was looking to cut some corners, I'll admit. Coding is complicated.
Minerva: Start here. Get up off your duff and stop moaning about how much better the 20th century was! You know what century was great? 24 BCE! Now there was a century!
Anne: Yes. That puts it in perspective. You deities kind of have to move with the times, don't You?
Minerva: It's that, or be twice as bored as We already are. If the only language I knew was Etruscan, I wouldn't even be able to talk to you. Are you going to eat that last muffin?
Anne: It's all yours, Great Goddess. Oh, I wonder if you would grant me at least a small petition?
Minerva: It depends.
Anne: Can you keep the dishwashing program in my computer? Look at the job it's doing on that bacon grease!
Minerva: Done, darling.
[Conversation is interrupted by a loud bout of squawking in a nearby room.]
Minerva: Your parrot is a menace to society. You know that, don't you?
Anne: Yes, Goddess. This is one wisdom I have acquired through long observation. Some jam for Your muffin?
Minerva: Thanks ever so much.