Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Dogs Are Bored

Welcome to "The Dogs Are Bored!" Canines! Have we got canines! Baby bichons, beautiful beagles, darling dachshunds, yummy yorkies, marvelous mutts, and pretty pitties!

Heck, when you get two dozen comments on a dog story, makes you re-think what you usually write about! Maybe I should just switch those consonants around.

On the other hand, I don't know a lot about dogs. I go to the animal shelter to pick up foster kittens, and there'll be a passel of pit bull mix puppies rolling around on the floor, and I hardly bother to reach down and pet 'em. (Well, actually I do.) I'm just not a dog person. They're okay, but cats and parrots are easier to care for, if not as devoted.

Today I'm going to admit that the government has been buying me lunch.

I was given a tutoring position to help the students at the Vo-Tech prepare for their high school proficiency test. For most students this test is pretty easy, or at least passable. My students are Hispanic mostly, and African American, the rest. They find the test a tough go.

Most of my students qualify for federally-funded lunches. Since they come to tutoring over their lunch period, I call the cafeteria and have their lunches brought to them. They get a brown bag with a sandwich, chocolate milk, and juice or fruit.

One day one of my students said, "I only want juice."

So I called the cafeteria, and the conversation went something like this:

Anne: Placing an order to be brought to the library.

Faceless voice: Go ahead.

Anne: Student number 090909090. She only wants juice.

Faceless voice: We can't do that.

Anne: What do you mean?

Faceless voice: She has to order a whole lunch.

Anne: How much is just juice? I'll pay for it.

Faceless voice: We can't do that.

Anne: Oh all right, send lunch. But be sure there's juice in there.

When my student got her bag lunch, there was no juice in it. She gave me the whole lunch. A few days later, another student just wanted milk and juice, but he had to get a sandwich too. He gave me the sandwich.

Don't even ask about the skinny little fellow who only likes peanut butter and jelly. He hasn't been able to eat lunch in two weeks, since they recalled all the peanut butter. He keeps asking me how much longer I think it'll be before the school gets peanut butter again.

I have a jar of nice, safe Jif right in my cupboard. I could easily make my student a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and bring it to him at the school.

But of course I can't do that.

Want to save some government funds, Barack Obama? Let them drink JUST JUICE. For the love of fruit flies!


sageweb said...

WOw you were very popular on your last post. But more important things that tug at my heart, peanut butter. I cant imagine that poor kid going without his peanut butter. I have tears in my eyes. Peanut butter being my favorite food, it getting a bad rap like Rhodesian Ridgebacks and pit-bulls.

Ali said...

The blogosphere is funny that way. :) I still get the most hits on a post I wrote probably two years ago that I entitled (rather misleadingly) "Metaphors for Love." Sex, pets and financial advice. That's what rakes in the comments. ;)

yellowdog granny said...

I'd take him a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and be damnd with the 'you can't do that' one should stand between a boy and his peanut butter.

melissa said...

well don. Study shows that dog lovers try their maximum to make their pet look the most beautiful and lovely.
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