Another Day, Another Deity

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," better known as the Wild, Wild World of Downsized Deities! I'm your host, Anne Johnson. When I'm not hugging trees or judging goats, I talk to gods and goddesses.

Please don't recommend Thorazine. Did Moses use Thorazine? Case closed.

We're proud to announce an interview today with a very wide-ranging bored god (or goddess, we're not sure). Please give a great big "Gods Are Bored" welcome to Ihu, Music of the Spirits!

Ihu: Thanks so much for sharing your space with me, Anne.

Anne: Ah, such lovely sounds! An Egyptian rattle, a deep Amazon Rainforest tribal chant. My, Ihu, you do get around.

Ihu: Well, my name is easier to say than Quetzalcoatyl.

Anne: And easier to spell, too. For that I'm grateful. Ihu, you have the floor.

Ihu: I am here today on behalf of my most recent followers, the Kayapo Indians of Brazil. There are about 7,000 members in my praise and worship team. They live in one of the last large tracts of rain forest in Brazil.

Anne: Oh brother, where art thou? You're going to tell me that developers want to mow down their forests for cow pastures and mine their gold and otherwise just lay waste to that woods.

Ihu: My people have fought that off so far. They can be rowdy, if you know what I mean.

Anne: If you mean they freeze out Christian missionaries by any means necessary, I'm okay with that. You need your praise and worship team.

Ihu: And they need me. There's all kinds of endangered species in that forest. And now the Kayapo face another threat. The Brazilian government wants to build a superhighway right through their territory. And, a dam on the Xingu River, where they live.

Anne: Mother of Mercy.

Ihu: I'm here to petition other bored gods and goddesses of sacred groves and deep forests to come and help the Kayapo thwart these developments. Both of them could shatter the Kayapo's environment: The highway by bringing in squatters and other riff raff ...

Anne: Including those omnipresent Christian missionaries ...

Ihu: And the dam by disrupting the water supply the Kayapo rely upon. Every one of their villages lies on the Xingu River.

Anne: Well, I can't speak for the bored gods and goddesses, but you've made a heartfelt request. The trouble is, many of the bored gods have to work for a living. Will they be compensated for their time?

Ihu: Free parrots. That's about all I can offer. I know I'm asking a lot when I plead with other bored gods and goddesses to use their personal days or their vacation time to come and help out.

Anne: Some nice people do it. And without any religious strings attached too. That would be your basic, Exhibit A tree-huggers.

Ihu: I need all the help I can get. Thank you for letting me vent! Rain forests can't be replaced once they've been cut down.

Anne: Yeah, I know. I'm thinking of those Tall Cedars of Lebanon mentioned in the Bible. Ain't no tall cedars there anymore. It's a desert.

Ihu: My praise and worship team deserves to keep their swath of green.

Anne: I'm with you all the way, Ihu. Calling all bored gods and goddesses! If you've got some time saved up from your job working the cash register at J.C. Penney, swoop on down to the Xingu River and help Ihu!

For you humans out there, this information came from Russell A. Mittermeier:
r.mittermeier@conservation.org

Sounds like a tree-hugger to me.

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS