November Oracle

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" If it's time for a change, look to us. We'll find you a god or goddess, or both, to fill your needs.

Think of us as a Celestial Geiko.

Even Michelangelo couldn't resist the Delphic Oracle. Here, thanks to Wikipedia, is the great artist's rendering of that elusive fortune-teller of old. Isn't she stunning?

Would you have the courage to march up to her? Even to ask for the winning Powerball numbers? What if she said in return, "Here they are, but you are going to get snuffed by a savage Pathfinder on your way to the convenience store."

My dear husband and I are shivering with the prospect of complete job loss. But we don't want the Oracle to tell us what's ahead. We aren't that bloody brave.

However, barring the work of a savage Pathfinder, the Delphic Oracle predicts that "The Gods Are Bored" will cover the following hot topics in the month of November:

* Ahhh. A new month, a new Supreme Court nominee. We'll look at the positive ramifications of a completely conservative court, laden to the plimsol line with Judges of Faith.

*The goddess Asherah made a good point in our last entry. We have been meaning to visit with her and ask her about her husband, and how the divorce came about.

*Shhhhhhh! More conspiracy theories! More Knights Templar! Hidden treasure, undercover manipulation, who's pulling the strings? More positive press for the Knights of the Rosy Cross and their modern counterparts, the Masons, who started a country based on some radical principles...

*Intelligent Design. A Pennsylvania trial is winding down. As always, we'll find the little flaws in the Great Intelligent Blueprint. This month: How did Jesus get a Y chromosome?

*Focus on the Family. How one discerning teenager is reacting to the mega-church movement in America.

*Shop till You Drop - for heating fuel! We'll take a stroll with the Ghost of Christmas Future and see if the struggling Johnson family will have a goose for their Yuletide table ... or health insurance for Tiny Heir and Tiny Spare.

*A long-time favorite fantasy of Anne's: We'll fill the University of Michigan Stadium, capacity just about 100,000, with direct ancestors of Anne, generation by generation, in each seat. Then we'll visit various sections and chat with the ancient great-great-great-great-great to the 25th power grandmas. See what they have to say about bored gods, curing headaches, and fixing what's broken.

*READER RESPONSE TEAM: If you want us to engage our intellect on a topic, just ask! Thirty days has November, and that's a lot of time. Rock on with a comment!

FROM THE DELPHIC ORACLE

AND ANNE

THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS