Bring It On, NWO!

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!"

Whew! For once we don't have to think of a kicky opening statement! A picture paints a thousand words, doesn't it?

You know this guy, eh? Ol' Blue Eyes? Although he meets none of the criteria of this web site, he is considered a god by many.

So, what's Frank doing on a hillbilly goat judge's blog?

Some of you might have seen a film called "The Manchurian Candidate." In that film, Ol' Blue Eyes plays a normal dude who's been brainwashed to perform an assassination when he gets a command that's been programmed into his brain. He won't know who he's shooting, or why, and when he's done it, he'll either be killed himself or have no memory of the murder.

Science fiction, right?

Sorry. Art imitating life.

For years after World War II, the C.I.A. operated a number of over-the-top secret programs aimed at perfecting mind control. In effect, they were trying to create "Manchurian Candidates" or at least a practical aerosol spray that would neutralize attacking soldiers by numbing their brains. Conspiracy theorists believe that the C.I.A. even tried some of this mass mind control by showering San Francisco with a hallucinogenic aerosol, to see if it worked.

I guess the secret aerosol came to rest at the corners of Haight and Ashbury Streets.

In 1972, the director of the C.I.A. ordered all records of these mind control experiments destroyed. Know why?

Because the C.I.A. pulled "experiment subjects" off the streets of big cities, figuring, who's gonna miss a street person or two? These "experiment subjects" were called "expendables."

That's gettting right to the point.

Okay. So the C.I.A. doesn't do that kind of work anymore. Oh, no. Of course not. Never ever. Wouldn't think of it. Unethical and all that.

Actually, I believe that. It's easier to monitor what the Russians and Chinese are doing in this regard than to go around snatching bums that might be Uncle Harry to some hard-working urban homocide detective.

But the New World Order, that's another matter. They are all about messing with brains. They watch that old silent film, "Metropolis," and salivate. There they are, in their pleasure palaces, while the proles work underground, marching to their horrible jobs in perfect military lines.

What you gonna do when they come for you?

I say, why not volunteer?

If you volunteer for a "Manchurian Candidate" program, you might be able to name your own drug of choice and get the best bed in the bunker. And if, like this author, you couldn't shoot a moose accurately if it was standing in your kitchen, you needn't really worry about harming anyone.

Going through a whole brainwashing program would probably bring you a year's worth of high-quality hallucinogens, "three hots and a cot" (that's what we hillbillies call gainful employment), and then a fairly swell life back in the sweet air at the end of the programming.

So, bring it on, NWO! Looking for a candidate? I'm sure I could shoot a head of state every bit as precisely as that wino bum you snatched from Hell's Kitchen in 1952.

Some of you are a tad anxious. Didn't those secret C.I.A. experiments in brain behavior sometimes lead to madness and death?

True. But look on the bright side. If you're crazy, they'll give you Thorazine and keep you in comfort. If you die, you go to the heaven of your choice with a crown of martyrdom. There isn't a god around, active or inactive, who turns a blind eye to the suffering inflicted on innocent victims by the powers that be.

(We'll talk about that more next month.)

So I don't see a downside to the mind control experiments of the New World Order. If you have ever been stuck in traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike, you probably agree with me.

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF MANCHURIA