Sunday, May 08, 2005


Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where we prefer not to use the term "midlife crisis." We prefer the term "paradigm change." Makes it sound like something everyone should have, doesn't it?

This blog author is HUMBLED to be on a list of blogs supporting the Princeton filibuster, staged in honor of a Chippie (Christian hippie) named Frist. Nuclear option? Do these Chippie politicians know how dangerous nuclear weapons are? Gosh, we never fired a single one at the old Soviet Union, and we've completely destroyed that nation. Totally plunged it into chaos.

Then again, I get all my information from the evil liberal press, so what do I know?

Well, I know this, muchachas. My maids don't even speak English, and they have a "God Bless America" bumper sticker on their car. Guess where they're from, and so glad to be here that they're willing to scrub low-flow toilets? (More on low-flow toilets tomorrow.) You got it. They from Mother Russia. They taught me to say "blockhoy papuguy," which either means "bad parrot" or "Rush, time for your medicine."

For a graduate of Billy Bob Agricultural University to have ANY association with Princeton is, to say the least, heady. We BBAU grads couldn't begin to penetrate the kind of stuff they teach at Princeton. We're too busy surgically sexing guinea hens and learning the ins and outs of bovine nasal passages.

Princeton filibusterists, I do hope that you attract more than just the attention of an anonymous freelance goat judge like me. I hope a certain conservative radio personality finds out what you're doing, because perhaps it'll make him mad enough to forget those opiate cravings for an hour or two. And I hope you get to "Phase Two," whatever that is. I assume it's getting course credit from your liberal professors for taking part in the gambit in the first place.

Yeah, we grads of Billy Bob Agricultural University have heard all about the evil liberal universities like Princeton, where teachers get paid to think and students have to face challenges to their dogma. None of that sort of thing at BBAU. You just probe a hen and look at the parts.

Stand secure in your knowledge that the bored gods support you, Princeton filibusterists. And I do, too. My ancestors marched in the Whiskey Rebellion, and not a single generation since has had one shred of faith in the federal government. That can happen to a family that gets shot at on the order of the Father of Our Country.

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