Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where we promise pure promotion of polytheism! Come and see us for all your deity needs! Same-day delivery available.
You know, Americans worry about the environment, all that pollution and stuff. But the fact is that, individual for individual, we are cleaner today than ever in the course of history.
I don't have to drag a bunch of bored gods in here to report on how fragrant their praise and worship teams were in the past, do I? As opposed to your Sunday services these days, when folks show up freshly showered and only reluctantly shake hands with the greeters.
Look at this. I just pulled it off the Yahoo wire:
WASHINGTON - Gritty rats and mice living in sewers and farms seem to have healthier immune systems than their squeaky clean cousins that frolic in cushy antiseptic labs, two studies indicate. The lesson for humans: Clean living may make us sick.
You know what makes me sick? The fact that scientists are being paid to prove that scummy wild rats have healthier immune systems than squeaky clean lab rats. I could have told you that off the top of my head. And I'm unemployed. Where's my doggone grant money?
I can't ever get this guy's name spelled right, but Nietzsche is famous for saying, "That which does not kill me only makes me stronger." Take it from someone who watched the flies in her grandparents' outhouse and then came inside to see them feasting on the shoo-fly pie: Your immune system needs a workout.
Sure, the antibacterial soap works great, and the laundry detergent, and the Bactine. But let's get real. Our ancestors survived long enough to have children, and they lived in the same house as their farm animals (at least mine did).
Maybe if we didn't medicate every grippe and spend our hard-earned money avoiding the grippe, we'd be better prepared internally when bird flu arrived at our door.
So now I have two reasons not to swat the fly buzzing around my head: Right to Life for Flies, and Strengthened Immune System for Anne.
For those of you looking for a religious viewpoint, consider this: Vultures live to be 100 years old. All hail the Sacred Thunderbird! Amen.
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS