Friday, May 13, 2005

SCIENCE (NOT CREATION) PROVES FAIRIES EXIST

"Being able to pun, sing, or riddle will usually get you through fairy checkpoints. To deal with real fairies is to enter a realm of riddles and puzzle settings where what they punish is stupidity and what they love is intellectual cleverness."
--Terrence McKenna, 2003

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" We love intellectual cleverness. And puns, too. Especially the unintentional ones. Like a guy named "Rush" who struggles with opiate addiction.

Please understand, we are not so hard on drug addicts here. We understand psychotropic substances and how addictive some of them are. The only time we make fun of anyone for an illness is when that person has hypocritically called for punishment of others while having the same sickness and covering it up.

Actually, we believe there's worse things than having a secret opiate addiction while calling for tougher drug possession penalties. And that would be? Convincing ordinary working Americans that the best thing for them is tax cuts for wealthy Americans.

But we digress. Today's topic: Scientific proof of fairies and Bigfoot!

And this isn't Creation Science, folks. See previous blogs for our opinion of that seminal line of research. In brief, we give the Intelligent Designer of the Universe as portrayed in the Bible at best a "C," and a warning that you never leave the toughest jobs (creating the human race) for a Friday. Find youself behind on deadlines, you're gonna cut corners. Next thing you know you've got people constructed on your image gassing millions of other people constructed on your image, just out of religious differences.

Gosh, today's Friday, and I'm not going to plug like I did, say, on Wednesday, when our president was out riding his bike.

Scientific proof of Bigfoot. A species of ape standing 9 feet tall has been identified from fossils in China and Mongolia. The extinct ape, named Gigantopithecus, stood erect in the manner of the Intelligent Designer, and might have lived into the Ice Age. If this creature lived into the Ice Age in China and Mongolia, it is highly likely that it was covered with white hair. Whether or not that is the case, it must certainly have had a big foot, and it most certainly was seen by Homo sapiens.

Scientific proof of fairies. A species of hominid standing 36 inches tall at full adulthood has been found in archeological deposits on an island off Indonesia. The bones have been nicknamed "hobbit" as the scientists decide on a species name. Along with these bones have been found bones of other island animals, clearly slaughtered with tools. On the island where the bones were found, there are many ancient "legends" of "little people" who would sneak out of the forest and steal things - including children.

The scientist who found the bitty hominid bones noted that islands sometimes produce diminutions of normal species.

Now here's where we make our giant leap of unscientific faith.

Either before, during, or after the last Ice Age, Homo sapiens arrives on the British Isles to find a species of forest-dwelling hominid, 36 inches tall or smaller at adulthood, that would creep out at night to steal things, including an occasional child. As Homo sapiens has a long and well-documented history of wiping clean whole biospheres, these small hominids disappear and become the stuff of legend.

Fairies, leprechauns, gnomes, sprites, elves. "Little People."
Trolls, giants, Bigfoot. "Big People."

Having said that, we at "The Gods Are Bored" are not about worshipping some extinct species of hominid. One presumes that no species of hominid ever flew, and fairies can fly. But just for the sake of conjecture, it's interesting to examine how close some ancient legends come to the evidence in the fossil record.

We are willing to concede the possibility that the Intelligent Designer, Creator of the Plan of Salvation for Mankind (note that we do not use inclusive language), deliberately buried all these fossils to seduce good people into Satanic beliefs and atheism. To which we reply: How intelligent and loving is that? I wouldn't try to trick my kids, The Heir and The Spare, into beliefs that would endanger them - say, for instance, that it's safe to ride a bike without a helmet, or crushed up OxyContin can't kill you.

Hey, Intelligent Designer. Fairies aren't perfect like you. But they've never presumed to be. At least on that point they're up front and honest.

Now I'm BOLTON on outta here, to begin a busy work day!
ANNE

69 comments:

Anonymous said...

What the heck? Where you stoned when you wrote this?

Anonymous said...

Well, me and my friend have a strong belief in fairies because we found a very small, hardly readable note in the forest.

Anonymous said...

do you have a picture to proove this about fiaries??

Anonymous said...

I believe in dragons being exist, but fairy, I have no prove yet. But I think I'll just believe in what you've said. Because if dragons are exist, why fairies dont? LOL

Nicky said...

Thanks Anne, beautifully written. Fairies do exsist as did most mythological creatures, with time as most things do, most of these entities have died out. But Im please to announce, and Im sure there are plenty of you that will doubt, but all these "mythological" entities do exsist, but on the other side. In the after life. Fairies are still around but in very few numbers. For those of you who have a "knowing feeling" about the exsistance of fairies or for those of you who want to believe, sometimes it takes a faith and a belief in something before it will manifest. This is very much true with fairies. Build a dwelling outside for them, truly believe in them, and if you are on the true path for truth you'll be very much rewarded :)

Anonymous said...

fairies r klklklklklkl! i luv dem n i luv u !

Anonymous said...

i believe in fairies

Anonymous said...

I'm open to the idea of the whole thing. To ignore and turn away from an un-proven fact, is to be ignorent to what may be the truth... I dont know for sure if fairies exist or not, but i belive that there is a chance...

Anonymous said...

I can totaly accept what you are saying. It is always so awesome to know that there are others out there that have minds open enough to look for proof of magnificient creatures!!! Ever since i was a little girl i would dream of meeting a fairy, it never happened but this helps me keep hope. All it takes is faith, trust, and a little pixy dust!

Anonymous said...

Fairies still do exist! They're just like angels, you can't see them that easily. The reside in places full with plants or forest and the like along with "little men." It can't be proven to be a lie like nothing can be proven to be true. But then again, the Earth used to be flat and the center of the Universe, right?

Anonymous said...

I live with 7 fairies. It all started when I set up a dollhouse to test their existence. Well, now I have a whole family of them! A mother, Marshia, has two kids: Fern and Gwendollyn. Fern got married to Leafelle, they had baby Moth. Gwendollyn got married to Justin. They had baby Shianne. I tried to capture a pic, but due to their magic they made it seem unrealistic. Here it is...well the Comment Thingy won't let me copy and paste. Goodbye!

Anonymous said...

I can't get past the first paragraph, that alone tells me that you confuse fairies with pixies or you think their one in the same.
I also disagree with you saying that the "hobbit" remains are those of the alleged fairies, two entirely different creatures. I can't read any more.

Anonymous said...

Me and four others saw a fairie and i wouldn't be typing this if it was a lie. We all glanced over but didn't dare to look to long. When we got back to my friends house i looked at my friend and asked did you see it? He responded astonished "so wait you saw it too" it turns out we all had seen it but no one said anything until we got back to the house. Fairies exist, i have seen it with my own eyes and not talking about ancient mini hominids i am talking about now.

Patience said...

When I was a little girl i strongly beileved in varies whole heartedly. I would make little homes for them around my house and leave food for them to eat and see if they would come but they never did . I would sing for them and wisper to them but they never would hear. I would sit quitly outside and wait to see them or even hear them but I never did. I don't know when I exactly stopes beileving I was so young when I did . But the fact that I did is so magical I'm it's self to beileve in the "imposable" to have that much faith in one thing that's innocense that's beautiful. And one thing do know is that I wish I could still beileve.

Anonymous said...

i saw a fairy before and i know they exist, and no i wasn't high or anything...scared the crap outta me actually and i ran away.

Anonymous said...

i think that if you believe in something hard enough,then it becomes real

baby said...

I am a Fairy, and I hate to admit it, but, the story is only half right. Were actually human sized, and we are emortal, which means we can't die. We are called Zan Nana.
And we hide our Fairy form, so we actually look like humans.

Anonymous said...

Im 15 years of age, from Wolverhampton a boring city. Loadsaaa cars etc. but yess i have seen fairys. I used to see them as a younge age. and a cupple of months ago i went though a tragigy and i saw one wich tuck my attention away from the bad thing and made me feel better about it. when my dad died i used to see them all the time and they used to make me happy again. people tease me all the tiime cus i belive, but no1 ill ever change my mind. never, i tell all my fiends about my belief and i keep talking till they belive. i would do what ever it takes to get everyone to belive i think the world would then be a better place

Anonymous said...

I believe in fairies. I live in athens greece.Every summer i go to a greek island called santorini. It's magical he there.It's too beautiful. My grampa was born and raised there.He often tells me about his experiences in life.Recently he told me that at the age of 17 he saw 2 fairies outside the chuurch his parents build in santorini. i have no reason not to believe him. He strongly believes in fairies and so do i. Thats the reason why i look up sites on fairies. i want to know if anyone else has had a common experience.

Cormac said...

look, woodland spirits etc exist, but this notion of little men giving out pots o' gold and three wishes is corporate invention. here in ireland the idea of a fairy is just a little man who lives in the woods (leprechauns as the media portrays them dont exist) and is usually bad tempered. but they also have fashions, technology, they are not stuck in the past AS THE MEDIA PORTRAYS IT. the media has given us these false images

Anonymous said...

In the Bible, we have God, Satan, cherubim, seraphim, demons, devils, angels, dragons, unicorns, talking serpents with legs, birds with 6 wings, insects with human heads, and the 4 horses of the apocalypse, to name a few. Why not fairies and/or pixies? I don't see how some people can readily accept all these things ON FAITH ALONE but casually deny the possible existence of anything else just they've never seen it! I thought faith was "the promise of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen"? So, clap if you believe!! And, Read "Fairies: real encounters with little people" by Janet Boyd. It takes a very reasonable and scientific approach to the existence of fairies. (I have a HUGE collection of pixie figurines.)

Anonymous said...

I sincerely hope that all of you are under the age of ten, or taking drugs. If the latter, I'd like to know exactly what you're taking and where I can get my hands on some. On another note, I suggest that you all work on improving your grammar and try utilizing spell check.

Anne Johnson said...

Anonymous, please do not solicit for drugs on my web log. I suggest you may need some chocolate for your bad attitude, but anything stronger than that you will need to find yourself. As for the spelling and grammar in my comments section, stop being a snob.

And do not expect to find your car keys any time soon, now that my faeries have seen this comment. You may be anonymous to me, but faeries see everything.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT, IF FAIRIES EXISTED, WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY HIDE THEIR CUTE FACES BEHIND LEAVES! HUMANS AREN'T GOING TO KILL IT, YET A DEAD CORPS DON'T PROVE THAT THEY EXIST! SEEING IS BELIEVING. ! ! ! I DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IF YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA THAT IT MAKES HIM REAL! ITS THE SAME WITH FAIRIES!!!! IF THEY CAN'T SHOW THEMSELVES, WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE!!!

Anne Johnson said...

Who says they can't show themselves? There's a difference between can't and won't. To you, they won't. Now be a good troll and go guard your bridge.

Jan said...

Leave it to us humans to believe we're the only beings in the Universe. When one loves Nature, one loves everything seen, and unseen. Fairies are very good at hiding from non-believers. I believe that many humans have seen Fairies, and just thought "No, that's just a bug", or, "NO, that leaf did not move". Thank you,Anne, for your belief, and your blog.

Anonymous said...

Just some days back i thought i saw a little man with a hat in my flower pot in my balcony and they say that fairies are nature spirits and usually nature spirits tend to appeare in a hidden way its like if u stare at a puddle you can see faces in the puddle i think there is such a thing as nature spirits because just like humans have a spirit so should other living things like plants or flowers, trees maybe water too but anyways when i saw the little man i got scared and i looked at it and smiled but in mind i started getting doubts i thought maybe the leaves are makeing it look like something is in there so when i looked and stood up to check i saw nothing but leaves maybe he left because i was doubting his existence or maybe it was just leaves i dont know but i do think there is a posibility that fairies exist

Anonymous said...

Fairies do exist, but why would they show themselves to pathetic mortals? yes, i just called myself pathetic. but if you had wings and were tiny, would you let huge creatures see you? i know i wouldn't.

Anonymous said...

I do believe in fairies I have really opened
Up to the idea while watching 'fairy tale
A true story' I would like to see a fairy but
I know they don't come for anyone only
The people who really believe and to be frank
I don't know if I do believe enough I want
No I need more proof!

Anonymous said...

i dont believe in faries but i believe in god

Anonymous said...

to all of you who have shared your opinions, please spell correctly, there is nothing more annoying than trying to read comments and coming upon "i luv dem!" and others like the ones displayed above, the little red line under your words is the computer telling you you're wrong so you don't look like a dumb ass, not agreeing with you.

Anonymous said...

till a time i didnt believe in faries kinda stuff...but nw i m gettin interested in dis field. i read about it n i want to knw more...lots ov questions in my mind....need to sort it out...can i have neones help?? anne i need ur help plz if u can

Anonymous said...

till a time i didnt believe in faries kinda stuff...but nw i m gettin interested in dis field. i read about it n i want to knw more...lots ov questions in my mind....need to sort it out...can i have neones help?? anne i need ur help plz if u can

Anne Johnson said...

Anon, anon, I come!

fairies iz da bomb, yo. They be like chippin on bad gramma and sin tax.

Ima write a new blog post about fairies for all yall who be lookin at dis one, specially for yous who believe in god and knot fairies.

Anonymous said...

What is so great about fairies anyway. It's not like they exist ha haha hahaha good stuff! Or do they? Well if they do tell em I'm down to party. I wonder if they like shots.... I wanna know what you know anne.

Anonymous said...

Lol nice joke, I am a grown adult and I am a rational manner. and I must say that back when I was a child I believed in the fantastic. right up to my late teens. I think about 15 I stopped believing in fantastic and amazing things. and honestly after that I have never been so depressed and sad. however recently. I have started to look into the supernatural. I'm not talk evil junk. and I hate to have to admit some things on the internet pictures and stories are very hard to swallow. And some of them are out right fake. however there is that little bit of evidence out there that just makes you think. That hits the childish belief in the back of your mind. and I have decided for my own beliefs that there is more than the possibility for them to exist. there are techniques and preparation that you must do in order to make it possible to see. To feel. To know that they are there. I did doubt their existence for a very long time. Until now. once I learned and tried to use to take think that you are supposed to in orders to see the fantastic. I did start seeing things would have thought impossible. and am starting to sense things that I thought we're not possible to sense. news. That you must first unlock certain aspects of your own abilities. As a human being and mammal you do have a sixth sense just like every other animal in this world. and you must never ever show them any sort of negative emotions or actions. and when it all comes down to it. They care about this world more than you ever well. but here comes the point. If you actually are curious enough and would like to try. "Try". Let me reiterate that TRY!!!!!!! to see something fantastic. Amazing. Something that you thought more than likely would never should never end and does not exist. But if you would like to see it. Then why don't you look up research. lookup how to do it and look up how the process works. And give it a few days or a few weeks before you say no. and actually give good effort in finding out the whole entire process.

Anonymous said...

Of course I believe in fairies. I also believe that my toys played together - Just like in Toy Story. And animals communicate with each other, a universal language - like Homeward Bound.
Why not? What a boring life to not believe in the fantastic.

Anonymous said...

I truly believe in farieis n I think that they do excist n they have every right to show they darling faces it's just they WON'T they see what u do n they also hear what u say aswell they are probaly scared to come out I no that for a fact coz the other day i was sitting on my porch doing my tafe homework n something was on my leg in felt soft I looked the it was a fairy I went to pick it up off my leg n it went to scream but I said I won't hurt u then I put it on my shoulder n it said u saw me I have to hide now n it flew away ! Call me crazy but that's what happened !!!!

Anonymous said...

I do believe in fairies. N wil 4ever. I love em. I just wanna c 1. Wish i was a fairy.

Anonymous said...

Ill believe it when I see it...I want to!

Anonymous said...

O.K. It is not like I am running around with glittery wings and a wand, but I love fairies and want to communicate, hear, be with them, and be their friend. I was encouraged by (please don't laugh at me) the movie Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue.
Bye!

Anonymous said...

Don't notice that most of the people believed in magical creature when they were kids? I know that the inocence of a child make them believe in anything. Just some adults grew with that and the rest, when they have to deal with some lifestyle and focus on that and not the faith, loose it. It happen to me. Once and start to deal with my reality I loose that faith. Like, what I have to do for my feature, have to pay apartment and my own food...in short phrase, Have to live for myself. But a true right now is that I'm trying to find that faith un believe in something, and I'm not talking about some crazy religion.

Anonymous said...

I beleive... thoo ive never seen 1.
Plz some1 if u know 1 send em to me they should know where i live with Fairy Magic they can easily find out since im not putting it on wide web u should understand why

hassan abbas said...

Three months before I didn't believe in fairies but last three months were eye opening, they communicate with us there were many families of fairies living in our house, the 1st month was like hell for us we were extremely afraid by some unseen creature but next month as we got to know them our family just fell in love with them, they were very friendly loving and caring and extremely intelligent and their emotions were just pure they can easily learn our language our ways of living, amazing creatures with amazing powers , one female member made a picture of her on a paper with a pen, they were not allowed to show their selves because they revealed their selves to us they were ordered from their elders to leave our house , they left our last month, while leaving they were so sad and crying, our hole family is very sad and missing them allot.

Anonymous said...

O.K i was just wondering, if your not a believer, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON THIS BLOG???(just looking up FAIRIES for the fun of it) come on who do you think your bluffing... iam 25 years old, never seen a fairy but believe me, i strongly believe that there are fairies somewhere out there...
and would REALLY like to see a fairy.

josuah said...

fairy do exist and i want to see more but if can i want to stay with the fairy

Anonymous said...

I would like them to exist (people must have got the idea of them from somewhere). Many people believe in ghosts and religios beings(who when do appear are always haze's), and if they are real, why shouldn't fairies be, or anything else for that matter. I would love for someone to say this to me:
"OMG! I just saw a GHOST!" for me to then reply with
"Oh really? Well i just saw a fairy"
Oh the day that happens :)
P.s I am a very firm believer that they do exist, them and magic. I would just love it proved.

Anonymous said...

I live in an overcrowded city. I love nature and grasslands but there aren't much of them here. Can i do something to attract a fairy? I genuinely believe in them. Have always had.
What should i do so that they come in front of me ?

Anonymous said...

Sorry until there is empirical evidence, this is just all wishful thinking. Though its very entertaining at least to read the blog and most of the.comments.

Anne Johnson said...

Anon, thanks for the back-handed compliment. There is empirical evidence that diminutive humans have existed in the fossil record. As for the very idea of empirical evidence, well, that's for boring people. No offense, but if you rely on your five senses and the science books ... they might be revised and updated some day. Quicker if you have imagination.

Anonymous said...

Yep, they can be seen. By a sober person (me) in broad daylight who wasn't even looking for them. A friend and I were at a public, though rather secluded park on May 1 about 15 years ago. We were standing by a lovely little stream, talking about the glories of nature and the immanence of spirit, when we both sensed a presence behind us. Turning, we saw hovering between us and a huge old oak tree about half a dozen or so glowing spheres of golden light. Within the light could be seen slight, human-like creatures. We were so astonished we were speechless for what felt like 2-3 minutes. The experience felt so surreal and electrifying! Oddly (to me now, although not at the time), we both turned around, sat down and didn't speak for a long while. Nor did we look for the fairies again in this wilderness park. I still wonder why...

Anonymous said...

Fairies often disguise themselves as dragonflies I have a fairy friend named william

Anonymous said...

great heavens earth needs an exorsism ........abrewveehated it means a past a scissors or a prism...twink twink next tyme ps. if i were the great man id wish butterflies put on my make up a mosquito put on my eye liner a unicorn my blushetc ..you get the picture dont u dont u o yes and the revita lift and cellulite reduction erc man but im not the wizard of god am i neither the that guy that decided heaven was hes playground and had enough of me and shot me like a wishing star in my mothers womb

Ann said...

faeries are real or not I don't know but I DO WANT TO BELIEVE IN THEM.

Anonymous said...

well i think fairies do exist

Anonymous said...

Are you joking

gunjan said...

There would always have been a dispute about the existence of fairies but for me hope is the best way to have faith in your beliefs.

Anonymous said...

They kill everything else.

Bhagyashree hiremath said...

I also realy belive in fairy. But i also buleve in science. i feel that they are real and are realy around .

Anonymous said...

Plz upload pics of fairies ,,,,,,fairies and ginnies are Arabic creations,,,,,so they are not mentioned in bible,,,,or in Hindu mythology,,,,,

Anonymous said...

Do those fossil of diminutive human like things have wings on their back,,,or some proof that they had wings on their back,,,, if yes plz upload the pics of those fossile,,,,

Anonymous said...

* fossils I mean

Anonymous said...

Unicorn is the Greek version of Indian Rhinoceros,,,,, when Alexander invade India they saw Rhinoceros for the first time,,,,and thought its a horse with horn on its head,,,,when they went back they spread the story of unicorn,,,,

Anonymous said...

Really!!!! William who???? Wordsworth???? Or Clinton????

John Daniel said...

Please, If anyone can show me a snap of a Fairy..Please
I grew up listening to fairy tales...pixies, elves, gnomes, elves...the list goes on....

sumet pait said...

are you serious ?

Anonymous said...

I think you people who believe that you have seen fairies should just compare them to people like you then wake up. Fairies aren't real maybe they are just insects that look weird but all this nonsense is fake.

Anonymous said...

Wow that's so nyc that's really super cool send one to me plz in africa
South africa

Anonymous said...

I was driving in the woods of Pennsylvania bout 6 summers ago taking random pictures of the woods with my new camera. When i got home and looked at my pictures i saw the figure of a tiny flying human like entity in one of my photos. I was not trying. I will not publish it. I will however now and forever believe in faeries.