Tuesday, March 17, 2020

New Feature: Recipes for Quarantine

Here at "The Gods Are Bored," we have identified a need for helpful recipes to get us all through this dangerous pandemic. I am very helpfully posting the recipe I prepared last night. I hope you have all the ingredients on hand.

ANNE'S PANDEMIC HILLBILLY TURKEY

1 frozen turkey from Thanksgiving promotion, thawed and roasted
1 tranquilizer in the benzodiazapine family (I used clonopin) whiskey can be substituted
jar of turkey gravy, or gravy you made when you roasted the turkey
Bisquick
frozen peas

EASY STEPS

1. Take the tranquilizer or imbibe the whiskey. This will be the only way your nervous stomach will accept food.
2. Put 2 cups cooked turkey in a pan with the gravy. Heat.
3. Make Bisquick biscuits according to recipe.
4. Cook peas according to recipe
5. Serve when you're calm enough to eat.

It is recommended that you do not watch television, most especially the nightly newscast, before you begin to prepare this recipe.

Hey, let's trade! If you have a pandemic recipe, post it in comments, or put it on your blog and let me know. We're all in this together.

5 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

EASY CHOCOLATE CAKE

1-1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup sugar
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder (e.g., hershey’s)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon real vanilla extract
1 tablespoon white (or apple cider) vinegar
1/3 cup light olive oil (or canola, sunflower, etc.)
1 cup cold water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Spray an 8 x 8 x 2 square pan with non-stick cooking spray.
Dump all ingredients into a bowl and mix well.
Pour batter into pan.
Bake 55 minutes until a tester comes out clean.
Frost with your fave icing.

GOTTA HAVE CHOCOLATE during this time!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I was going to make a humble meatloaf but the store is all out of hamburger and eggs. I'll try another store this afternoon and see if I hit the jackpot.

Anne Johnson said...

That cake sounds exquisite! Not sure I have any unsweetened cocoa, but I probably do.

Janie Junebug said...

Comfort Food

one bottle of best whiskey you can afford
put ice in your glass if you want it
pour desired amount of whiskey over ice

DRINK DRANK DRUNK

Pass out. Something might be better when you come to.

e said...

Boil some noodles (doesn't matter what kind)
Throw in a handful of frozen peas and/or corn
If you are lucky enough to have a protein, throw that in
Drain
Grate some cheese and let it melt over (I use goat cheese if I have it)

I actually make this fairly often!