Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Does anyone know what to do about the faerie in my printer?
Okay, so we all know about the government's attempt to bail out the rotten stinking thieves on Wall Street. We also know that public opinion was so squarely against this bailout that the craven masses in Congress voted it down.
Now we're going to have a Great Depression, the final bequest of our fearless leader, George W. Bush.
So today, we at TGAB thought we would explain the Wall Street mess in a way that any moron could understand. That is, a moron who can read. Here goes:
1. Your beloved granny has been giving you lots of money for years. You bet some of it on football games and lost, so the bookie's out to collect.
2. A dude with a gun shoots your granny in front of your eyes. But there's a problem. In his non-gun hand, he's holding a red button that will set off a Doomsday Machine if he presses it.
3. The dude who just shot your granny demands that you give him a new gun, warning of Doomsday if you don't.
4. You refuse because the rat just shot your granny.
5. Doomsday, preceded by having your thumbs broken by an angry bookie.
Now, Main Street, do you get it?
Probably not. I used big words.