Friday, March 03, 2017

Vulture is PISSED

Welcome to First Church of Vulture, Apostolic and Unreformed. Hear the voice crying out in the wilderness for the family of Vulture!

The great God Vulture has learned that a minion of the Satan with False Hair Growth has, with the stroke of a poison pen, re-instated the use of lead ammunition in the nation's wild lands.

Vulture deems this an abomination.

Lo, Vulture has spoken unto me the curse He will visit on those who propel poisoned metals into the flesh, fields, and waterways of our land. Hear the word of Vulture!

VULTURE CURSES HUNTERS WHO USE LEAD BULLETS

1. Your spouse and children will not respect you.

2. You will worry about making enough money for all of your days.

3. Your private parts will be the smallest and ugliest in any locker room.

4. Your descendants will wait eagerly for your death, so they can have your stuff, yea most especially your guns and ammo.

VULTURE CURSES CABINET SECRETARIES WHO LEGALLY ABET THE USE OF LEAD BULLETS

1. The horse you came in on will shit on your shoes.

2. Your private parts will be the smallest and ugliest in the entire Western Hemisphere. Babies will laugh.

3. You will have the boss from Hell. He will torment your days, and even when you no longer work for him, your former people will remember. And hate you.

4. You, and all of your lead-loving buddies will die and go to

LEAD BULLET HELL

Where demons in the guise of Disney Princesses will make rude jokes about your private parts while pelting you with molten base metals, the more pustular skin diseases, and the ragged remains of Remington rifles.

Thus sayeth Vulture: READ THIS WHILE YOU STILL CAN, AND REPENT! The fate of the California condor is at stake!

If the California condors don't survive this wretched setback, I can double guarantee and promise you that Vulture will lay a SMITE on this wretched nation that will make us all beg to become carcasses.

The word of Vulture for the people of Vulture. Thanks be to Vulture.


16 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yeah, listen up, all ye peoples. Don't fuck with Vulture.

anne marie in philly said...

WTF? rip them a new one, vulture! praise his mighty wings!

greekwitch said...

Oh no! That's horrible! Why, why would he do that?

Anne Johnson said...

Why would he do that? $$$$$$$

Leeanna Henderson said...

This idiot we have as president will forever be marked as the worst for the environment and human rights. What an awful legacy to leave your grandchildren.

Ol'Buzzard said...

may the vulture continue it's good work
the Ol'Buzzard

Terraluna said...

Some small consolation Anne - California has outlawed all lead ammunition for hunting, to be phased out over the next two years. We love our condors!

Anti Kate said...

All Respect to Vulture, To Whom We All Fall Eventually

Davoh said...

Um, smallish point. In the Aussie vernacular - 'pissed' means extremely inebriated (alcoholically incompetent).

"pissed orf" ... means 'am annoyed'.
Cheers and best wishes from what seems to be a rather more sensible political establishment ...

Davoh said...

On another subject - have recently watched a documentary here about the restoration of the American Condor .... 400 so far , and apparently increasing.

Davoh said...

Apparently the American "Icon" - the bald eagle is also breeding again. ( reference to past environmental policies - not current ones).

Davoh said...

As an aside, no documentary confirmation - but if looks as as if all the 'bald eagles' find a better place in Canada ... wry heh.

Jono said...

May a piece of lead become embedded in his cold heart.

JACKIESUE said...

how the everloving fuck did it come to this

Debi said...

The carnage just keep piling up! Your country is loosing what little reform Obama managed to scrape in! It's only been not 2 very loooong painful months and Great alakes, Arts! Coast guard, FEMA, PPhood, ...sorry my head is hurting! While he does his switch & bait, Congress is pushing through hideous reforms. His EO are complete madness! Conflict of Intrest is in Vogue! So sorry! I'm ranting and spelling badly.
I will keep the hope that the population will vote STRONG in coming elections with pitchforks and flaming torches in hand!
😘 xoDebi 🙋🇨🇦

Lucretia said...

All glory to Vulture, who watches over us and lets us know when we have really screwed up (and then eats our remains in forgiveness)...!!