Hello again! It's me, Anne Johnson, and this is "The Gods Are Bored," a sort of deity diner. Yes, the bored gods are becoming restless and snarly again and are itching for me to return to my agenda. Today, though, I had a fascinating conversation with myself that I thought I would share with you.
ANNE TALKS TO HERSELF
Me: Anne? Anne?
Me: Huh? *yawn*
Me: Remember last September when you swore up and down that you wouldn't come home and flop down in your barca-lounger like some sloth on quaaludes?
Me: *mumble mumble yawn*
Me: Remember you said that you were going to embark upon vigorous housework and other heart-strengthening activities the minute you walked through the door? I do vividly recall that you vowed to visit Decibel's resting place twice a week or more.
Me: Leave me alone, Me! I'm exhausted!
Me: Whose fault is that? Go to bed at bedtime!
Me: I do, dammit! It's just the getting-up time that's ridiculous. Especially now, with daylight savings time. Feels like it's the middle of the night. *yawn*
Me: Whine Whine Whine! Look at this house! It's a mess!
Me: Well then, you clean it up.
Me: Me? Why? I'm tired too! I stayed up late too!
Me: Uh huh, you sure did! And let's not forget why you stayed up late. You were looking at fairy clothes again! You don't have a brass farthing for a new fairy outfit! Why are you even looking?
Me: Get off my case. I've been wearing the same shirt to Fairie Festival for ten years!
Me: And there's not one damn thing wrong with it. Besides, the coffers are low. You've been marching, remember?
Me: I'm too tired to remember anything!
Me: You should have thought about fairy clothes when you bought that Union Thugs t-shirt. News flash: Why don't you wear that to the Fairie Festival?
Me: I suppose I could glam it up ...
Me: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I WAS JOKING!
Me: How the hell am I supposed to know when you're joking? Do you think I'm a mind reader?
Me: Anne, you need a glass of wine.
Me: We gave it up, packed it in, vowed to live sober. You surely remember that.
Me: Yes, alas, I do. But it's okay, because to get a glass of wine I would have to move out of the barca-lounger.
Me: Which, under the circumstances, I would never ask you to do. I have an idea: Why don't we go to Etsy and shop for fairy clothes?
Me: I give up. Anne, you're right. In fact, you're always right. Everyone says that about you.
Me: I know. Thanks all the same.
Tune in for another session of "The Gods Are Bored," where we'll go see Walt Whitman, or Decibel's ghost, or have Asherah over for scones. You never know.