Wednesday, March 29, 2017

For a Beloved Grandmother from The Spare

Hello Gods are Boreders, it's me the Spare. It's been quite some time since I've last written anything on here. If I can recall, the last time I was a guest on The Gods Are Bored was when I was 18 and had just had my heart broken. Well I'm 23 now (or just three weeks shy of it), and I'm coming to you all with something much more important than a silly boy.

All my life, I've been told just how much like my grandmother I am. Growing up she had a real knack for entertaining. Readers, if you'll recall, I throw a mean party. More than that though, she dedicated all her life to taking care of the people she loved, getting almost nothing in return. This is where I see myself most in my grandmother. When I love you, you'll know. Taking care of people was what she wanted to do and when her heath declined, it's clear that this is what she struggled the most with. 

One summer I spent the week with my grandmother and I ate a whole box of strawberries in two days. I don't even remember really liking strawberries. I guess I was simply hungry and growing. Every summer for the next eight summers, the first thing she'd say to me when I got in the door was that she had just purchased a couple boxes of strawberries for me. She'd bake me strawberry cupcakes when she'd come to visit me. She'd always point out any recipes with strawberries in them. I love strawberries now. I love my grandmother. 

It was hard watching her struggle with her heath these past couple of years. The grandmother I remember who was once so vibrant and sassy molded into someone who was plagued by sadness. She's always been my hero. I'd say this after I heard her say something brash or unbecoming, but when I think back on it there's a deeper reason that she's my hero. My grandmother is the most genuine, selfless, and loving person I know. I will be lucky if I can ever become half the woman she is. 

Today my grandmother was put in hospice. I got the call at the end of my work day. They said it could be hours, days or weeks before she passes. She's going in an out of consciousness, My brave beautiful mother does not want me to be there to see her. She doesn't want me to remember her like this. She's smart - she knows my heart is hurting right now (I've just been dumped again, things never change readers). In truth, no boy could ever hurt my heart more than knowing that very soon my dear grandmother and I will no longer exist in the same realm.
Here is my call to action. Please pray for her readers. I don't care who it is to and I don't care how it is done. All I want is her to be comfortable right now and for her to know how much she is deeply loved. I have a beautiful vivid memory of singing George Gershwin's, "Someone to Watch Over" about 10 years ago on a night much like tonight's. I'd like it if someone could watch over her tonight. 

Please excuse any typo's. My copywriter is at a hospital in Baltimore. <3

8 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

May all the Goddesses of Transition from One World to the Next give her an easy passage and bring comfort to all her grieving loved ones. Will be keeping you, your sister and your parents in my thoughts.

Birdie said...

Hospice is a beautiful place and they will make her last days of living peaceful and free of pain. The hardest part isn't the person who is actively dying but those who are left. It is a brutal thing at times, this life. And I don't know how we manage to get through it as well as we do. So my prayers tonight are for your grandma. And you. That when she dies and your heart breaks, and it will, you will allow it to continue the legacy of love and kindness. Much love to you. And sorry for my typos. I'm writing on an iPod

anne marie in philly said...

BTDT, girl...in 1988. may your beloved grandmom peacefully pass into the next realm.

e said...

I will most certainly pray for your beloved Grandmother. And for you, and your mom, and your whole family. This is one of the hardest things ever. Although, harder things will come too.

Remember, if you can, when you are feeling down, that this is just one plane of existence. Your grandmother will always be with you on other planes. Reach out to her with your senses, your intuition, your gut -- she'll be there.

Life is an illusion and one day we all wake from the dream.

JACKIESUE said...

sweet girl, I wish I was there to give you a much needed hug...as you know I"m a pagan and believe in the goddess and Freya is my personal goddess...she has a chariot pulled by cats..so when your beloved grandmother passes over to the other side..picture her being carried off by Freya and her chariot pulled by cats..going to Sessumnir and banging on the table yelling for more mead..I'm pretty sure your mom has my number..if you need me...call.

mshatch said...

I hope your grandmother passes peacefully. I have wonderful memories of my grandmother as well.

Debi said...

To be remembered is to live on. Look in your mirror, you will see her, say Hi! blow a kiss and a wink....you must carry on, knowing you have her to her to March on with you. I too take after. My Nana, I see her everyday in my grandchildrens eyes!

As far as " boys" go... there is the problem. Where you shine is where you will see your partner. Do NOT settle for less, know matter how long it takes.

Nice to read you in blogland, hug your fabulous Mom, chin up, the world is calling!
xoDebi

Davoh said...

"Free Spirits" are welcome anywhere, not only in North America ... heh.