Yep, They're Mad

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" I'm your host, Anne Johnson. Anne Johnson is my real name. I was born with it, and I like it immensely.

When I complained about the high cost of FaerieCon 2009, I expected the faeries to seek revenge for the damage to their vanity. Ah, so correct! A family conflict will keep me from attending Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm on May 3.

But soft, o ye fae. Who doth this punish the most, pray tell? Me, or thee? Do not lengthen thy punishment to include May 1 or May 2! Else those who suffer will be you!

I've been thinking about fun festivals that I've attended. No, I won't start a meme, but feel free to make a list of your own favorites if you like.

First it might behoove us to define "festival."

A festival is not a fair. Fairs have rides and games and quarter-a-card Bingo. And prize-winning Angus calves. A convention is not a festival. It may have festive moments, but its aims are to extend the attendee's knowledge of a specific topic or interest. The Daughters of the American Revolution excel at conventions. But you would hardly call what they do a "festival." (Alas, even the word "funeral" fits better than "festival.")

In order to qualify as a festival, an event should be held outside, or in an enclosure with easy access to the outside. It cannot get too big, numbers-wise. (Woodstock springs to mind.) Festivals are generally loosely structured, allowing attendees to stroll. Many great festivals center on the product for which an area is famous. There's actually a little town in Pennsylvania that has an annual Mushroom Festival. And Yellowdog Granny writes lovingly of the annual festival held in her town, West, Texas. I am soon to be featured at the East Coast Vulture Festival. Now there's a festive occasion!

What I'm trying to say is, some activities are best left to festivals. Faerie interaction is one of these. You can't tell me that any self-respecting faerie would want to spend a long weekend in a concrete convention center in Philadelphia, or a carpeted, soundproof Mariott in Maryland.

There must be a few faeries who will go anywhere and do anything for some attention. *Anne cringes* But these faeries must have issues. The majority of faeries, given their druthers, would gather in a clearing and dance in a ring, not caring a whit whether humans join in or not.

Gotta fly. Time to teach.