Of Ham Hocks and Facebooks
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," finding the funny stuff even when the going's rough. Jobless, hopeless, sad or tense? Call bored gods to get them hence!
This is the time of year when the thoughts stray to a warm, nourishing bowl of bean soup. Forget the unfortunate production of unwanted methane brought on by consuming this commodity. It's still a healthy food.
Yesterday Mr. Johnson expressed an interest in bean soup. So I toddled off to the Snobville grocery store in search of a bag of mixed beans and a couple of ham hocks.
I can't imagine that any of my ten readers wouldn't know what a ham hock is, but to refresh your memory: It's some part of a pig that comes in roundish shapes and is composed of bones, gristle, and fat. Having very little (if any) meat on them, ham hocks are used to flavor other foods, i.e., beans.
Traditionally, ham hocks are the cheapest meat in a grocery store, with the possible exception of that potted stuff and plain old soup bones. Imagine my surprise when the Snobville grocery wanted five dollars for three ham hocks!
I stood in the meat aisle and had a conversation with the air that went something like this: "Can I believe my eyes? Five bucks for a trio of ham hocks? What is this, a ploy to make rich yuppies feel like they're buying something of worth? Next thing you know, this store will be offering Spam at the no-nonsense price of ten dollars a tin! Wait. What do I hear? Oh, by all the bored gods, it's my dear old granny, turning in her grave!"
It's a curious thing I've noticed, that when I get to talking to the air that way, people tend to avoid me. At home in Appalachia, at least three other folks would have joined in solidarity, proclaiming that price for ham hocks to be delusional.
But laugh no longer, Granny. For the same price, five bucks, I got a whole pork shoulder -- much more meat, same smoked flavor, less fat and gristle, twice the weight! As I told Mr. Johnson when I got home, I won't buy five dollar ham hocks until ground beef costs thirty bucks a pound.
Other news of note: Something odd has happened to my Facebook. It's like that site and that site alone has a weird virus. I can't get on it, and if I do, it knocks me off ... and the whole way off the Internet to boot. So if you make a friend request and I don't get back to you, that's why. I guess daughter The Spare or I might have downloaded some junk to my hard drive that's just whacking away at Facebook and (so far so good) nothing else.
If you have a basic comprehension of computers, and you can help me fix this problem, my email is in my profile page. I've tried scrubbing, soaking ... oh wait. That was the upholstery. I've tried running the antivirus scan, cleaning out the cookies, temps, and adware, and re-booting. No luck.
Anyway, I'm glad it's Facebook and not Blogger that's got the stubborn won't-run-blues. But I think the loss of the social site is hitting poor Spare pretty hard.
Enjoy your day!
Labels: made Anne laugh