Friday, June 27, 2008

The Grinch, Victorious

Welcome to "The Gods Are Feverish!" I'm your host, Hot Annie. Pass the iced tea, please.

But wait. There's no ice.

Word just in from the Goddess Sedna that for the first time in recorded history, the North Pole will be open water this summer instead of solid ice.

Sedna tells me that Santa Claus's workshop just sank under the waves. Total loss.

Apparently Santa's been warned over the past few years that his workshop might be in danger of destruction, but he just ignored it. The only radio station that reaches the North Pole carries Fox Radio -- Rush Limbaugh,, so Santa thought global climate change was just something made up to cheat honest oil executives of their hard-earned research money.

Sedna says that the ice floe under Santa's workshop cracked in the middle of the night. Santa didn't have time to hitch up his sleigh. The flying reindeers were locked in their barn, so even they couldn't escape.

For those of you with young children, this news will be very hard to take. I suggest you don't tell your tots. Just start saving your money now, and you might be able to get them a few gifts at Christmas, out of your own budget. I suggest sunscreen, sunglasses, box fans, and popsickles.

The death of Santa and Mrs. Claus, and all their elves and reindeers! How tragic! I'm sure none of them knew how to swim. Why would they need to know, living on a solid block of ice....


sageweb said...

So true and so funny.

BBC said...

Santa, rolls eyes.

Adults sure do teach their children a lot of stupid crap. No wonder they believe little they say after they grow up.

BBC said...

Oh, and it's not hot here, even after the ice melts it will still be moderate and life giving here. But then I did move here after a dream.

Don't think about moving here though, I don't want more people here that do the Santa crap as they brainwash their kids.

yellowdog granny said...

ahh, santa..we hardly knew ye....
I always thought mrs. santa was a beard to throw off the scent of what was really going down(if your pardon the expression) with santa and them elves, which the reindeer were forced to watch..

Big Tex said...

Santa's okay, he actually has an escape submarine. Pulled by eight tiny reinsquids.

wordwitch said...

Hi Anne,

This just makes me sad...I had a "discussion" with my oldest brother recently - it went: HIM "There is no such thing as global warming - isn't your religion Nature base? It's just your Mother Nature breathing, and of COURSE she'll breath out 'bad' air (carbon dioxide) . . . that's just natural." ME "So we're just supposed to ignore what happening, keep building, raping the earth, breeding, killing off species?" HIM "Unless we want zero pop. growth, yes, and there are so many other species we haven't even discovered yet, and we have pletny of empty space to build on still."

This conversation (via email) took place last week - and I'm still stressing about it. I just finished "The Family Tree" by Tepper...and wish we could all wake up to what's happening around us.

It's so sad.

Athana said...

Good one, Hot Annie. Hope you don't mind; I posted it over at Rad. Goddess Thealogy.

wordwitch, here's something you can say to your bro:

As any good detective knows, the killer is always the one with the best motive.

So what motive would the "human-made climate change" bunch have? Darned if I know

And what motive would the Big Corp.s have in trying to debunk human-made climate change?


If most knew what they're doing to us, the earth's climate and weather, the Biggies know we'd shut them down before they could wheeze out even one more puff of CO2. They'd be dead in the water.

So considering that they're all just big slime bags that cheat, lie and steal from the pure enjoyment of it, my bet is on the Big Corps doing all the lying, here.

Anne Johnson said...

... and buying governmental officials to scotch any accountability.

Athana said...

Yeah, who knows what they're doing to our elected sweeties to keep them quiet. This bunch is mean, dirty and touchy.

The problem is, I think we're all scared of them. I am. I'd love to come out with a few choice ideas of what could and should be done with Bush boy, Lon Chainy and Karl Red Rover, Red Rover, but I've heard what happens to people who do.

They come after your honeys, your loved ones, your children. Witness Valerie Plame.

My guess it's hard for most politicians to choose between the health of their country and the lives of their loved ones.

And until I personally stand up to the Bush Crime Family, how can I expect those I hire (my elected officials) to?

Sravana said...

You might give this a look:

Just sayin'... ya can't believe everything in the mainstream news...