(Pause for gnashing of teeth)
My daughter The Heir boarded the El about two hours ago to attend Philadelphia's annual Gay Pride Parade, conveniently located on the street right above one of the Center City El stops. In addition to her many other fascinations, The Heir loves drag queens. I hope some day she has one for a friend.
These days I can't be on my feet for more than 30 minutes, so I stayed home. (More gnashing of teeth)
Before she left, I told The Heir to collect any anti-gay tracts being handed out by the right-wing Christians who attend these things. I told her that if they asked if she was gay, she should say no, she's a Pagan.
To my astonishment, she declared a religion. Turns out she's a Pastafarian.
Perhaps you haven't heard of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM's followers are known as Pastafarians.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster appeared in a revelation to a Kansas seer in reaction to the Kansas state school board's mandate to teach intelligent design in science classrooms. The Holy Monster declared that It was in fact the Intelligent Designer, and the science teachers should make note of that fact.
Since then, the FSM has attracted a worldwide following of envious proportions. Let's just say It's not a bored god. It was too busy to grant an interview!
Make light of this major new deity if you will, but we at "The Gods Are Bored" take It very seriously. After all, Isaac Bonewits became a Druid and began his Path because the college he attended demanded weekly religious observance. He formed a Druid group as a tongue-in-cheek protest. Lo and behold, the college quickly dropped its religion requirement, and Bonewits found a life calling. He was probably bombarded by bored deities, all eager to reclaim a praise and worship team.
So it is with pride that I recognize The Heir's commitment to Pastafarianism. But oh boy, I hope there aren't any dietary restrictions, because I dump almost everything on a bed of spaghetti.