What Exactly Is the War on Terror?

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where today we're going to talk about a well-trodden subject: terrorism.

We're fighting a war against it, you know. And we're safer than we used to be, but not as safe as we used to be, or something like that.

Okay. So we at "The Gods Are Bored" are seeking a definition of terrorism. Is it the unexpected violent murder of innocent civilians in an unprovoked attack?

Hey, wow, Anne! How'd you get so good with words as a goat judge?

The reason I bring this up is this: I would like for someone to explain to me how the horrible school shootings of this past week differ from the bombing of the World Trade Center in any particular except scope.

Anonymous lunatics, acting out of hatred, go on a spree and kill people, then kill themselves. It could be a skyscraper in Manhattan. It could be a one-room schoolhouse in Lancaster County, PA.

And my last question to our Fearless Leader is this: How do you plan to keep schoolgirls safe from terrorists? Oh my. Little Amish schoolgirls get killed by Christian mailmen with no oil wells in their backyards, in a state where it's easier to buy a gun than adopt a stray dog.

Em, Fearless Leader? They say you're tough on terrorism. Let's see you save school kids from random gun violence. That's terror, isn't it? How come you're not out in Lancaster today, promising that this attack won't go unanswered?

Ohhhh. I know! Because part of the answer would be to amend gun laws! And we all know what high regard our Fearless Leader has for the U.S. Constitution. No infringing on the Right to Bear Arms.

(Well, we need at least one clause in the doggone document to stay the same Before Bush and After Bush, right? Right? Right?)

One last word on the Amish and their children. These people live Christianity the way it was declared that it should be lived. They take no interest in worldly activities such as politics but rather see this earthly life as a drudgery to get through before attaining Paradise. They will have faith that their little lost daughters have gone to that Paradise without having to suffer the ills attendant on the mortal condition. This is not to minimize their grief, but just to explain how they look at the world. I know this because my mama taught Old Order Mennonites in school, and they liked her and allowed her a window on their world.

So, I'm back to the point of this post. My children go to school. I myself work at an urban high school, where sometimes I have to stand by the front door armed only with a walkie-talkie. Mr. President, what do you plan to do about this alarming development in the War on Terror?

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS