Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Mithras's Little Secret

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where even benign polytheists get pissed off when circumstances warrant it.

If you feel seismic movement under your feet in Maryland and Pennsylvania today, pleased be advised that it is not a nuclear test. It's my Revolutionary War-era ancestors turning in their graves.

Maestro. Cue Music! (Think of "The Producers.")

Heil myself
Heil to me
I'm the Cracker out to change our history.
Heil myself
Raise my hand
There's no greater dictator in the land.
Everything I do I do for meeee....
If you're looking for a war, how 'bout World War III?

Mr. Johnson had a rental car yesterday and was surfing through the satellite radio channels. He thought he was listening to Air America, but after a few miles of turnpike he realized he'd accessed a top-secret conversation between Mars and Mithras (bored gods of war).

Mithras was bragging about how Fearless Leader in the Big White House has secretly ordered a flotilla into position off the coast of Iran.

Mars was reminiscing about how wonderful the Gulf of Tonkin incident was, how the American people got duped into the Vietnam War. Mithras was practically crowing when he said, "Look for a big-time offensive just in time for the election."

Okay. That's why this blog exists. To allow the bored gods to air their grievances, and occasionally to eavesdrop on the no-goodniks among them. This alarming information falls into the latter category. It's even more alarming when Anne picks up her morning newspaper (big city) and sees nothing about this in it. Anywhere.

Calling all Nations: Don't turn your back on Mithras now! He wants attention so badly he'll pull the world to pieces. He's nostalgic for the days of the Roman Legions. Enough said.

and JOSEPH BENET, Bedford County Militia, 1777-81
and JOHN HANNA, Lancaster County Militia, 1776-77


Tennessee Jed said...

For some reason Mammon keeps coming to my mind when I think of the leadership we have now. Perhaps many bored gods are busy right now.

Thanks Anne for an insightful post.

Athana said...

anne, I've noticed too that there's no news about this in the mainstream media. There's stuff in the blogosphere, but all from a week ago.

Of course, if it were in the mainstream media, how could it qualify as a "surprise!" come October 31?

Without a good October surprise, the NeoCons know they're going to lose their power base. And the power in a surprise, of course, is in it's total unexpectedness.

So it seems to me our job is to make sure Iran is *not* a surprise when it comes -- to anyone.

Athana said...

Did Joseph and John live in Pennsylvania? Do I detect a few PA counties in the mix here (Bedford and Lancaster)? My Rev. War grandfathers are all on my mother's side, since my father's family is/was conscientious objectors from way back. My gr, gr., gr. etc grfa Abraham left Bedford Co. PA soon after the Revolution -- harrassed out for refusing to fight.