SAMHAIN 2006

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored" on Samhain 2006! Do you know where your ancestors are? Bless them all for giving you life! And no matter how hard you have it, remember that they lived through hard times too. And there will be more hard times to come, and that's why we look forward to the Summerlands!

What a long, strange trip these past two days have been! Have you got a minute? Can I make you a steaming cup of cocoa? Oh, by the way, do you know how to carve a jack-o-lantern? I have a beautiful pumpkin downstairs and no talent.

SAMHAIN 2006 PART ONE: WORSHIP

Our Druid Grove service on Sunday was uplifting and imparted such peace ... and boy, did I need it yesterday. The Nor'easter that so bedeviled Athana in Maine left us in the Mid Atlantic with a cloudless skies and thundering winds. We couldn't light candles, but the gusts were fabulous for sending off our prayers and our troubles into the coming darkness. Best of all, my daughter The Spare went with me and said she wanted to come again. We had a great mother-daughter day. All glory, love, and honor to the Ancient Ones!

SAMHAIN 2006 PART TWO: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

Out of the blue, my super-fundie, Dobson-besotted sister phoned and said she would be in Philadelphia on Monday with her husband. Could we spend some time together? Well, of course. She's blood. Different blood type, but kin nonetheless. So I picked her up, and within minutes she was talking about people who speak in tongues, and how she urged the Holy Spirit to give her the gift, and was rewarded by praying in some strange language that sounded like Chinese, which it might have been because how would she know?

Remember, readers: We at "The Gods Are Bored" accept all religious faiths as long as no one stains the furniture. And there's no chance of that from my sister. She hadn't been inside my house in 15 years, but her judgment was that the clutter I live with would drive her crazy. Well, she should have seen it before I busted my keister to tidy it up before her arrival! So, no furniture stains from Sis or her god. But plenty of subtle hints that I should jump back on the straight and narrow before it's too late.

Here's something interesting for you Goddess gals. When Sis came near my shrine to Queen Brighid the Bright, all the smoke detectors went off in the house. The smoke detectors are hard-wired, meaning if one goes off they all do. The batteries are pretty fresh, so I immediately ran through all the floors looking for a fire. When sis moved away from the Goddess, the smoke detectors stopped beeping. They haven't given me a moment of trouble since.

I'd love to hear your comments on this. Was it the Goddess sensing danger, or was it Sis's God telling her to back off?

Anyway, I spent about 4 hours with Sis. And I could tell you more that would make you laugh, and maybe I will. But for now, suffice it to say that just when we got back to the Airport exit on I-95, she was pontificating (great word) about how creation science should be taught in school, and how she was going to vote Republican because of abortion, and how poor Christians are persecuted because they can bring home pictures of witches to color at Halloween but they can't sing "Away in the Manger" at their Christmas programs in school. And if you've ever been to Philadelphia, you know it's damn near impossible to miss the exit for the Airport. For crying out loud it has two dedicated lanes on I-95.

I missed them. Both of them. And I got lost driving home, and I've lived in Philly for 19 years.

SAMHAIN 2006 PART THREE

As I said, I love my sister because you love your kin if you possibly can. But when I say I had the taste of wormwood in my mouth when I got home, that's putting it mildly.

Ah, but redemption was at hand.

Every year on the night before Halloween, our little borough has a parade. It's not much more than the high school band, followed by an unorganized mob of little tots and their parents, all dressed in costume.

It's been my tradition for the last three years to lead the parade in the high school's Fighting Wombat mascot costume. (Technically it's my daughter The Heir who is the mascot, but since the mascot never speaks, we tag-team.) So last night I got to lead the parade and hug about 100 adorable little kids.

And the Monkey Man was there. Oh thank all the bored gods! There was no one I wanted to see more than than my favorite lovable eccentric and his puppets! In 20 seconds he swept away the bad karma and re-united me with the Weird and Wonderful.

SAMHAIN 2006 PART 4

This morning my daughters The Heir and The Spare were running around in a tizzy trying to put together their Halloween costumes in time to get to school. I said. "Hey. Hold on a minute! Take all the time you need! I'll write you notes for your tardiness."

Turns out they weren't very late, but here's the jist of the notes I wrote for each of them:

Dear School:

"Halloween is the most sacred day on the Celtic calendar, and my daughters have a scheduled school day they must attend. Therefore I allowed them to be tardy. I expect this tardiness not to be affixed to their records because it has religious implications. Only a small minority of Americans are practicing Druids, so we as a group would hardly expect a Holy Day school break on Halloween. However, I ask that you respect our faith as you would that of any other religious group."

You can best bet that note lit a fire under the daughters to get to school on time. But I know The Heir didn't make it, and I would have loved to have seen the look on the principal's face. The Spare probably didn't make it either, but my guess is she'll take a marked tardy rather than turn in that note. Who can blame her at age 12?

Samhain is still fresh morning as I write this, and sure to contain many fun-filled (and serious) moments. One blessing is that our official artist, Seitou, will make a rare appearance, as she loves to stroll around on this particular day.

Wow! Long post. Sorry. I'll be back in form soon.

Did I mention that at midnight my husband's plant might go out on strike?

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS
AREA 14, STAR 14