Monday, August 01, 2005

Words Words Words

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where as you can see our taste in gods is absolutely impeccable.

Please do not use this image for your personal financial gain. The artist will not be happy, and the god will be affronted and blast you with bad karma.

We have here a picture, and quite a fetching one at that, of a god that every little girl in America has heard of. But before we reveal her name, we have to look at the whole concept of names.

Are you old enough to remember a time when African Americans were referred to as "colored people?" I'm that old, and to boot I grew up in Appalachia.

Today it would be insulting to call African Americans "colored people." But they don't mind being called "people of color."

The difference lies in how elegant the latter sounds. "Colored people" sounds like some kind of alien race with chartreuse skin and three or four eyeballs. Whereas "people of color" accents the "people" part of the equation, and you get the picture that you're not dealing with Martians.

Here's another switcheroo: Mother of God vs. Godmother.

What's the difference?

A Catholic would tell you that the Mother of God is the B.V.M. (Blessed Virgin Mary), and a Godmother is someone who stands up and pledges to help care for a baby.

Pretty clear. Cut and dry. Not all confusing like that "colored people" business.

But wait a minute. The gorgeous god depicted above is the Fairy Godmother. Adding that word "fairy" puts a whole celestial spin on Godmother. All of a sudden it's not your sister or best friend standing up to protect your delicate infant, it's a goddess. With an accent on the "fairy" part.

The Fairy Godmother is a bored god. She's not as bored as Zeus or Thor, because she's so prominently featured in fairy tales. However, she does wish that more people would recognize her as she really looks (see above) and not as some doddering old lady created by Walt Disney.

If you're in a tight spot, and you need a Fairy Godmother, this gorgeous goddess will come to your aid. Just remember that old adage: Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

I didn't wish for the Fairy Godmother. I think she wished for me. First, as part of the spouse's Great Summer Renovation Phase III, I painted the bedroom walls a lovely shade of lavender. And then - what are the odds - in a "quality time" moment I took my daughters, the Heir and the Spare, on a shopping trip, and a merchant actually sized me up and went into a storeroom for a print of the above picture! Seriously, you cannot imagine how good it looks against the lavendar background.

Mother of God, God Mother, I don't care what you call her. She is awesome and worthy of reverence. You can attach Jesus if you want to, she doesn't care. She's a universal mother, even of mystical creatures who are hiding in her wake, keeping free of Man the Destroyer.

All hail the Fairy Godmother!


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