Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Who's On Guard?

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Just this morning, I think most of the gods would rather be playing solitaire in their lonely heavens than struggling to find clean water and mosquito repellent in Mississippi.

I've got a rare blood type, so I let the Red Cross rip the ol' veins open fairly often. Yesterday, during a routine blood drive, the volunteers were talking about hurricane duty.

Oh my.

I said they could have an extra pint of blood, but they didn't take it.

Anyway, these big Atlantic hurricanes are ripping up the Southlands regularly now, and in a future post we'll talk about what hurricanes mean for hillbillies. But today's topic is a little more of the moment.


(With apologies to Abbott and Costello)

WHO = the National Guard

WHAT = the Army Reserves

I DON'T KNOW = Dubya

Q: Who's helping the residents of Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi keep their houses safe from looters?

A: No, Who's in Iraq.

Q: I don't understand. Who's policing the highways so opportunistic thieves and thugs can't dash in and take advantage of ordinary Americans caught in harm's way?

A: No, sorry. Who's in Iraq.

Q: Well then, Who's in Mississippi?

A: No, Who's in Iraq.

Q: I don't get it. What's keeping criminals from taking advantage of hurricane damage to plunder and terrorize hurricane victims?

A: What's in Iraq too.

Q: What is in Iraq?

A: That's right.

Q: No, you don't understand. What exactly is in Iraq?

A: Yep.

Q: Wait. I don't get this at all. Who helps out with damage control when hurricanes strike?

A: Usually, but right now Who's in Iraq.

Q: Who's in Iraq?

A: Yep.

Q: I still don't understand. Who is in Iraq, and What's going on there?

A: That's completely correct.

Q: Well, then, who's helping the hurricane victims, and what can help them?

A: Sorry. Iraq.

Q: I don't know what you're talking about! I don't know!

A: White House.


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