Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Today we turn this site over to an old buddy of ours, the Jersey Devil!
Hey, Dubya, you fat-faced oil slut moron. Get dis. You drill offa da shore of New Jersey, you deal with me. I like my beaches and my overpriced t-shirt stores (you should see what dose shirts say about you) and my rolla coasters and all dat stuff. My boardwalks are da rockinest, and it's a cheap ride to my beaches from Philly, New York, and even Baltimore.
Some hurricane comes along and bashes da Jersey Shore, hell, dat's Fate. But you slather my beaches with oil, you gonna wish you wuz one a dem crude-crudded dolphins, yo.
Don't mess with da Jersey Devil, Dubya, you ain't got the stuff for it.