Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored" on this, Commencement Day, 2008.
Just six hours from now, my daughter The Heir will walk across a stage and get a piece of paper that says she's an adult.
Do you remember this moment in your life, readers?
Mr. Johnson and I are offering The Heir some advice.
Mr. Johnson's is: "The race is to the steady, not the swift."
My advice is: "Be always mindful of your upholstery and avoid all pesky stains."
If you could tell The Heir something inspirational, what would it be?