Mithras's Little Secret
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where even benign polytheists get pissed off when circumstances warrant it.
If you feel seismic movement under your feet in Maryland and Pennsylvania today, pleased be advised that it is not a nuclear test. It's my Revolutionary War-era ancestors turning in their graves.
Maestro. Cue Music! (Think of "The Producers.")
Heil to me
I'm the Cracker out to change our history.
Raise my hand
There's no greater dictator in the land.
Everything I do I do for meeee....
If you're looking for a war, how 'bout World War III?
Mr. Johnson had a rental car yesterday and was surfing through the satellite radio channels. He thought he was listening to Air America, but after a few miles of turnpike he realized he'd accessed a top-secret conversation between Mars and Mithras (bored gods of war).
Mithras was bragging about how Fearless Leader in the Big White House has secretly ordered a flotilla into position off the coast of Iran.
Mars was reminiscing about how wonderful the Gulf of Tonkin incident was, how the American people got duped into the Vietnam War. Mithras was practically crowing when he said, "Look for a big-time offensive just in time for the election."
Okay. That's why this blog exists. To allow the bored gods to air their grievances, and occasionally to eavesdrop on the no-goodniks among them. This alarming information falls into the latter category. It's even more alarming when Anne picks up her morning newspaper (big city) and sees nothing about this in it. Anywhere.
Calling all Nations: Don't turn your back on Mithras now! He wants attention so badly he'll pull the world to pieces. He's nostalgic for the days of the Roman Legions. Enough said.
and JOSEPH BENET, Bedford County Militia, 1777-81
and JOHN HANNA, Lancaster County Militia, 1776-77