Thursday, April 16, 2020

Bittersweet Birthday

I have been blessed that both of my daughters have stayed in the Delaware Valley, where they were born and where Mr. J and I live. Therefore we are always together as a family on or near birthdays.

April 15, 2020 bid fair to be the first exception to the rule.

My daughter The Fair lives in Philadelphia, not far from the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. So close, and yet so far! We're not supposed to engage in non-essential travel, and it would be dangerous to get near her, seeing as how she lives in a house with a Whole Foods worker and a bike deliveryman.

But damn. Her birthday. And the lilac bush is blooming ... her favorite flower.

So it was that I cut a few lilacs, put them in one of the glass bottles I scavenged from the middens on Polish Mountain, and Mr. J and I drove to Philadelphia.

It took us 15 minutes to get to her house. The traffic was about half what it would be for that time of the day.

EXHIBIT A: NON-ESSENTIAL TRAVEL?


We drove to her house. We stopped in the street and turned off the car. There's very little traffic on her tiny street on busy days.

We cried. We kept our social distance. I put the flowers on the sidewalk.

Then we talked for about a half hour, maybe a little more. Mostly about her job situation and pandemic funds and school plans deferred until next year. She looked good and healthy and about as happy as anyone can be in this situation, which is, you know, meh with a heaping dollop of anxiety.

It was the most bizarre birthday ever, and it didn't help when I got home and started going through old photographs just to get them in better order. When do people take photographs? At birthday parties! Those old pictures showed years and years of birthdays, going back to her first, which she celebrated in a bunny ears headband.

The next fraught occasion of this sort will occur on June 1, when the Heir has her birthday. We might have to do the same thing then. I'm really hoping that we will all be able to get together as a family by July 6, Mr. J's birthday. Right now I must say it isn't looking too hopeful.

So, Governor Murphy, if you want to give me a fine, I'll pay it. What price can one attach to missing a birthday when a daughter is a scant 7 miles away?

Yours in the trenches,
Anne

4 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

I bet by 7/6 things will be getting back to normal. it's hard on you, mom, isn't it? stay safe and strong, gurl!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Happy Birthday to The Fair! This year is one for the book alright.

e said...

Birthdays, sigh. April is full of them in my family and plans that were made have been cancelled. My daughter is not far away but it's a 3-hour drive. Of course, I will not be driving 6 hours round trip to wave from the curb. Dammit!
I'm happy for you and your Fair that you were able to see each other and even deliver flowers!

Bohemian said...

Happy Birthday to The Fair... hard, but you did the right thing at the present time and hopefully next Year you can have double the contact to make up for the lack of it right now. That's the really hard part of Pandemic, the lack of Human Touch, which as a Species, we just crave.