It's Mummer Time!

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," and Happy New Year! It's time to strut your stuff!

Every year on the first of January I march in a parade. It's a very fun thing to do, marching in a parade. I highly recommend it.

I march ... well, we prefer the term "strut" ... with a sizable group called the Two Street Stompers. We are part of Philadelphia's infamous Mummers Parade.

This is a picture of us last year. Our theme was "Gold Rush." The males (known as "wenches") dressed in ruffled miner dresses. The little kids were the dynamite. We gals were the golden nuggets, and the fat guys were the "mother lode," meaning that they wore gold bikinis and very little else. In the picture, they are the ones lying in front.

This year our theme is a salute to the troops. As you three readers know, I'm an unreformed history snob and a bemused proud member of the Daughters of the American Revolution. So this theme is A-Okay with me. As usual, the suits are a visual splash, and the routine manages to be funny and respectful at the same time. I can't say more because you never know who might be lurking here, trying to steal our ideas at the 11th hour (aka rival clubs like the Jesters).

People sometimes ask me how you get to be a Philadelphia Mummer. And the truth is that many Mummer groups are basically family and friends. When I decided to be a Mummer, I contacted the only person I knew who was in a brigade. His group is called the Vaudvillains. They make their own costumes. When I inquired as to joining up with them, I was told that they weren't taking new members.

Contrast this to the Two Street Stompers, whose informing philosophy is, "the more, the merrier, no sewing required, previous prade experience not necessary."

This is my third march with the Stompers, and they have made me feel right at home, even though most of them are family and friends, and I was a total stranger when I showed up there in 2012. So if you're reading this, and you're a Vaudvillain ... take a lesson. Don't turn anyone away! This is supposed to be fun! You might be overlooking someone with a theatrical flair and a fun personality, a real ham who knows people who can sew like a pro!

Have an enjoyable New Year, reader. If you happen to be awake between 9 a.m. and noon on New Year's Day, the Philadelphia Mummers Parade will be live streamed on PHL-17's web site. Look for us. We are. The Two. Street. Stompers. Fired up!