Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Post-Birthday Navel Gaze: Heir and Spare

I've lost a follower! I've lost a follower! Oh, what am I doing wrong? *wringing hands*

Quick, friends, shoot me some more followers so I don't melt down!

Over the weekend I didn't celebrate because the number is distressing celebrated a birthday. At my age these things are really no big deal. But I have two daughters who are young enough to be consumed by the whole notion of birthdays and their importance.

Both the Heir and the Spare wrote me personal notes that spoke of their love for me and what I have done to make them better people. Spare likes my goofiness. She thinks it has sparked her interest in comedy and has filled her imagination with ideas. Heir hopes I'm at peace and relaxed, I deserve the very best of everything because I'm such a great mom.

Folks, my own mother suffered from a dreadful case of bipolar disorder. She was not what anyone would call a mother at all. So it's 100 percent more rewarding to me that my daughters like my parenting. I was flying by the seat of my pants through their whole growing up. The only thing I knew to do was not to raise them the way I was raised.

1. No forced eating of food they didn't want to try. Can't tell you how often I vomited up cottage cheese as a kid.
2. No set bedtimes if there was something special going on.
3. No music lessons! Music lessons, in my childhood, were simply captivity under the brutal heavy hand of a taskmistress who couldn't even play an instrument herself.
4. No all-consuming self-centeredness (which, admittedly, is a symptom of bipolar disorder and therefore hard to control).
5. No choosing their clothing, friends, or boyfriends ... attire guidelines only as needed.

I could go on and on.

Instead... navel gaze ...

On Monday afternoon, Spare and I took a walk in the park. Spare had her IPhone and her camera. She used the first item to geo-cache, which I loved (put that seaglass to use)! She used the other to photograph a stunning wood duck and his mate. And a cluster of little yellow flowers. And a cluster of crocuses. And a cluster of snow drops. I have given birth to my own grandfather ... all he did was photograph flowers!

We had such a nice time together on our short walk.

Not neglecting the Heir, but she's working so hard these days. But I will say that Monday afternoon, when I got home from work and she came out the back door, my heart just leaped with joy to see her.

I was a very reluctant mother. I thought I would botch the job completely. I guess I did something right. It started with love.

PS - Spare's cooking dinner every night this week. Call ahead for reservations, because her cuisine is very popular!

1 comment:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

How thoughtful of your daughters to tell you how much you have influenced them -- a wonderful birthday gift!