Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Our New Nonprofit

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" What a beautiful day it is outside! I think I'll keep this post short.

As my three readers already know, a date for The Rapture has been officially set. It is exactly 10 days hence, on May 21, 2011.

So far, those of us who promote the bored gods have pretty much been thinking about the commercial and ecological ramifications of this long-awaited event. How could we have overlooked the spiritual dimension?

The Bible pretty much lays out this scenario where those who are not Raptured will face great strife from such vile opponents as celestial horsemen and a Great Beast that we'll all recognize because he'll be spray-painted with a great big 666.

That sounds scary.

There's also the matter of people being Left Behind. Suppose some of those people (more likely a lot of them) think they should have been promoted? There's bound to be bitterness.

Some people scared, some people bitter ... and some of us not giving a fig, because we're with the bored gods.

So I, Anne Johnson, am now going to create a 501 C3 nonprofit organization called Friends of the Bored Gods. We at Friends of the Bored Gods will be offering post-Rapture counseling and education for all of those who are either scared or pissed. No one need look over a shoulder for the Great Beast! At least, not if you're taking an alternate route. Friends of the Bored Gods will provide alternate routes to healing and closure in the post-Rapture world. Trust me, friends, the hundreds of bored deities who've been ousted by Yahweh are already camping around the pond behind my house, just waiting for a new influx of mortal followers. (We've been having some lively, family-friendly parties.)

If you would like to donate to Friends of the Bored Gods, just remember our rules here at "The Gods Are Bored." It's all about the economy. You write to me, tell me how much you would like to donate. I'll send you a check for that amount, which you will then return to me. Let's face it, times are tough. This is our way of letting you feel good without having to sacrifice your pin money.

Friends of the Bored Gods has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Gosh, I thought that up all by myself! Rather proud.


Lori F - MN said...

If you don't follow the bible, then you shouldn't have to worry about the debil and those minions.

Oh, you need to read the Rick Riordan Percy Jackson series. and the new ones, The Lost Heros.
Get reaquainted with the Greek dieties.
Besides, they are quick and fun. Perfect for summer

alex Pendragon said...

I still think we should require people in the public sphere who insist they know when the world ends despite their God's insistence that they won't be required to sign over their worldly possessions to someone bound to be "left behind" so that something can go towards repairing the damage these nutcases have done to our world.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You know, there's actually no Biblical support for the concept of the Rapture. The Apocalypse, yes. The Rapture, no. Odd that it's so firmly believed by Fundamentalists who take the Bible literally.

Maebius said...

I plan on standing outside that day 'Entraptured' with the Glory and Majesty of the world too. Why limit the Rapture party to the elitist denominations of a few?

Surely there are at least a couple Bored Gods with similar inclinations towards Ascendancy? ;)

Maebius said...

I also see I posted my comment on the wrong post, somehow. Prior comment is in relation to your prior posting.

For this one, I heartily agree with such sharitable[sic] ventures! I pledge the grand sum of $84.00 to the FotBG. That's 42, twice, for Life, the Universe, and Everything... again. :)

To save postage, and lessen the dependence on petrol-products, lets simply pretend the check is in the mail, and you simply pass it between your left hand to your right. Sound fair enough?!

Intense Guy said...

Someday, someone will "accidently" "predict" the last day of the Earth - but there won't be anyone to say "told you so!" And if we have Astronauts on the space station at that time - they are gonna get really lonesome and run out of Tang.

Maebius said...

Odd. did the prior comments get eaten?!