Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Mean Old Pagan War Gods

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," laughing through life with the help of ignorant morons! Why should Veterans' Day be any different?

My good friend Hecate has a post up today in which she links to a moron writing about how many wars have been avoided since monotheism shoved out the bored gods. After all, doesn't Christianity tell us to love one another, to turn the other cheek, and to treat others as we would have ourselves be treated? Yea, verily.

So, back in the dark days of polytheism, people waged wars in the names of their deities. God has cleaned this up. Seriously, I kid you not.

Okay, I am kidding. Where once people fought for their gods and goddesses, people now fight for their god. And what's most amusing about it (actually it's not amusing at all) is that Christians have fought Muslims, who have fought Jews, who are still fighting Muslims, who bombed the World Trade Tower in an attack on Christians. All of whom worship the same god.

Ah, harmony, harmony! Love thy neighbor! Don't be a Pagan! They don't love their neighbors!

It being Veterans' Day today, the Spare and I were trying to sing some patriotic songs. It's doggone tough to find one that doesn't mention God, except for the National Anthem, which can't be sung by anyone due to impossible octaves and indecipherable lyrics.

Hecate's post got me thinking about hymns. So here, in honor of that peaceful deity who exhorts his followers to turn the other cheek, are just a few catchy lines from popular songs in his honor:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored
He hath loosed the faithful lightning of His terrible, swift sword,
His truth is marching on.

Onward Christian soldiers
Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus
Going on before.

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing.

If you would like to remind me of other peaceful lyrics pertaining to the busy god, please leave a comment. I must run to night school ... another dose of the blowhard Mr. Bigwand.


THE Michael said...

Or how about "Kill a Commie for Christ"? THAT said alot about Gods love for mankind, didn't it?

Thank the Gods and Goddesses I honor that none of them so far has whispered in my ear that I have to bomb a catacysm class or open up on a Catholic bingo hall full of old people. I rather dislike mindless violence and the religions that thrive on it.


it wasnt the pagans that killed all the christians to push their religion on them...just sayng..

Lori F - MN said...

Just wonder what would happen if Monotheistic God were taken out of war.
Why do so many christians have difficulty accepting there might be something beyond their God? And Why must they try to make others believe the same? AND why do they insist on saving us so we can go to Their heaven? Don't they realize it would be less crowded if they left us alone?

Bellagunn said...

I always thought of Jehovah as the *jealous* god who forever wants reassurance. When looking at the long history of violence in his name Jesus just looks like an abboration with his hippie dogma. Bless my Gods and Goddesses, they are no so needy.

Lori F - MN said...

Did ya'll see this?

As if school isn't difficult enough.

SubtleKnife said...

Is that top one some obscure version of Solidarity forever, the union anthem? ;-)

They have taken untold millions that they never toiled to earn,
But without our brain and muscle not a single wheel can turn.
We can break their haughty power, gain our freedom when we learn
That the union makes us strong.

Anne Johnson said...

The top one is the Battle Hymn of the Republic.