Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Christmas Giveaway, Spun

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," fa la la la laaaa, la la la la! 'Tis the season to be jolly! Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose ...

What can be better than a warm hearth, lightly scented with the fragrances of Yuletide? You bask in the glow of candlelight and family, the winking lights on the tree, the family cat nestled in a holiday basket, lined with a cheerful fleecy throw.

Outside, a gentle snowfall heralds the coming of winter, its glistening white magnificence, its happy calls of children as they sled on the neighboring hill ... or gather in a jolly band to create a snowman.

Ah, snowmen! Can any other icon capture the true spirit of the Yuletide quite like a portly snow fellow? See the bright stocking cap someone has donated for his shiny pate! The bright orange carrot, so tempting to the forest creatures as a tasty tidbit. Two eyes, made out of coal, twinkling like the diamonds they could have become ... in time.

Now you ... yes, you, can combine all these fabulous holiday sensations in one precious package! Our magnificent Yankee Candle Fragranced Porcelain Ornament will enliven your tree and infuse your dwelling with the gracious scents of a gay and merry Yule. Yankee stands alone among the makers of fragranced candles. Yes, none can compare to Yankee. And our Yankee Candle Fragranced Porcelain Ornament is a proud product of the superior Yankee brand!

Best of all, this one-of-a-kind collectible fragranced ornament can be yours. Free!

Here's how it works: All you need to do is leave a comment, begging for the unique item. Pull out all the stops, spare no compliment, because if you are the most eloquent petitioner, you will win this coveted prize!

Competition is sure to be keen for the Yankee Candle Fragranced Porcelain Ornament, so make your comment early, make it earnest, nuanced, and inventive ... and cross your fingers! You just might be the best among the best, a true creative genius vastly deserving of this unparalleled offer!

Good luck ... and have a wonderful Yuletide, perhaps made even merrier by your very own Yankee Candle Fragranced Porcelain Ornament!


Maebius said...

From the halcyon days of Yore, when innocent hearts embraced the winter chill with merriment and joy, comes, as you described, that most archetypal icon of the yuletide season.
Snowmen, while being full of whimsy and wonder, are sadly a transient work of Art, too quickly torn asunder by unenlightened bullying, or the harsh Oak King's rays as the Wheel turns.
Yet I read here of hope, for such a hero of the winter fests. A snowman of our own, immune to both outdoor agents and the warmth of spring. Still further, harnessing that most ancient and primitive sensory power to scent our lives and homes.
Such a thing, while likely humble in stature, would assuredly fine a place of honor among the altar of winter. Such a thing would be Blessed.
Such a thing should be mine. :)

KrisMrsBBradley said...

Just give it to Maebius. No one is going to beat that.

Way to set the bar. Sheesh.


Maebius said...

(don't count this comment)
Well, she did say make it earnest, and inventive? I usually don't comment here but read the blog every time it's updated.
However, the call of epic prose could not be avoided here.
Heck, I don't even need the snowman. Getting the creative muse flowing for the comment itself was worth the effort to post.
*grin* The bar isn't THAT high is it? I was looking foward to seeing other replies.

Thalia said...

Nicely done, Anne. There's a career for you in marketing! (If you don't mind the bit about selling your soul, that is.)

I'm not sure Maebius's answer can be topped, either.

I was going to say something like:

Well, no, perhaps I do not need a little snowman mathom. Perhaps, even, I do not want a little snowman mathom. But who am I, after all, to refuse the offer? Is this not how prosperity works? The Goddess is generous; it is one drop in the flowing river of prosperity and creativity and kindness; it is all part of the glorious abundance the Universe is willing to share with me. One gives to another, that other gives to another, that one to yet another, hand to hand to hand to hand we turn the Wheel.

Who am I to refuse abundance? How should I say no to something so freely offered?

It is a powerful magic.

So count me in.

yellowdoggranny said...

excuuuuuuuuuuse me?

sorry..I'm from Texas..we don't cotton to nothing yankee hanging on our trees..unless it is a yankee..

Thalia said...

Hey, hey, Yankee here (though one with, admittedly, a soft spot for Texans. Well, some Texans, it would seem). :P

Anonymous said...

Found: One home for a lost Yankee Candle Fragranced Porcelain Ornament.
Rent: Free to one who smells of Yuletide and looks like a snowman.
Accomodation: Large shelf in a nice sized room in the sunny (but cold) town of Brighton. Temperature: perfect for housing a snowman comfortably.

All applications will be considered.
Apply Within.

Anonymous said...

This is a powerful ancient Druidic talisman, recreated for modern times. It represents the man of snow, an icon of winter, who stands in dual opposition to his counterpart, the green man of summer. In the turning of the wheel, in the fullness of time, the green man will do battle with the man of snow and win Summer's victory, but here and now, at Yule, Alban Arthuan, the man of snow rules all. He represents the powerful Winter King.

This talismanic representation of the Winter King is made to adorn the evergreen, the symbol of life in the heart of winter. His presence on my ritual tree would awaken the power of the season, and his scent, so powerful and fiery from one so cold, will warm my hearth.

Or you could just give it to Maebius. He deserves it more.

sageweb said...

I am just catching up...can't comment above..but I agree with you...he ticks a lot of people off..

Evn said...

You know, I believe I'm going to miss ol' Billy-Boy. He was just so refreshingly common.

Cat C-B (and/or Peter B) said...

Sorry your nice blog got visited by a troll, Anne. Happens to the best of us...

I find that engaging politely with those who are abusive, and explaining to them--once--that they need to desist, and then doing exactly what you've done here--going to a period of moderating the comments, and, if need be, removing offensive posts made in the past, generally clears up the problem.

List serves are much harder to patrol, and one grows weary of the endless cries of censorship from those who can't be civil to one another. But this blog is yours--as much your home as is your living room--and most of us understand that the host gets to establish some basic boundaries.

More, most of us understand we need to play nicely with others in the first place...


Dawtch said...

Commenting on snowmen again. I wnat it! I want it! My house id currently filled with both snowmen & smell goods! Just look at the pics I posted from my boy's birthday party. You can see snowmen all around if you look. The mantle is covered! Awwwwww c'mon, I never win anything :(
*grin* Either I'll win or I won't. Have a great holiday