Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Tiki Rolls On

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," stubborn no more in the wake of deity-induced cataclysms!

Dear readers, I surely do appreciate your advice. Finally, brought to my knees, I am going to accept it.

Tonight, after dark, I will pour at the feet of the Dread Tiki an entire bottle of Triple Sec. Please do not tell the Tiki that I had this bottle in my basement unopened from the time of my life (not long ago) when I made those blender drinks with little umbrellas in them. Now I dispense with the blender and the umbrellas, so the Triple Sec can perhaps be of use pacifying a Pacific deity.

This bored god is the worst troublemaker I've ever seen. Since he reared his hypomanic head, I've had to go to the doctor, I've had trouble with both the Heir and the Spare, my basement flooded, and a windstorm blew down the power lines.

Maybe all the trouble our country is in right now stems from some Tiki lurking in the bushes at the White House. I have a whole new respect for this particular set of deities, and a burning desire to get one of them off my back.

Till dark I remain,



Illisse said...

You might want to keeps the blender & little umbrellas as a plan B.


Maeve said...

Maybe it needs a lei. Flowers cheer just about anybody up- I imagine they'd work for a grumpy god too.

BBC said...

I think it would make a nice campfire.

Evn said...

Or, you could stand in front of the tiki and drink the entire bottle of Triple Sec, while repeating, "See what I would've given you if you'd been a nice bored god? Bad Tiki. Bad bad bad."

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's the fact that it's a Tiki that is the problem. I think it is the anger and nastyness of expression that is the clue and the problem.

To be honest, I don't think it is a Tiki. It really reminds me of gang grafitti and illustrated novels. This one just emanates negativity and hostility.

Me? I would try to find a way to bind it or at least mask it's evil vileness myself. Banish that sucker. Or better find out who put it there and move it to their property and get rid of it entirely. I'd be tempted to burn it really but not knowing anything about it that might not be a good idea.


Anne Johnson said...

I agree with you, Cynthia, that this is just one bad dude. I also agree that it shouldn't be burnt (though admittedly it seems to be begging for that fate). I might adopt Evn's solution, at least partially.

For those of you who don't believe in bad karmic Tikis, guess what? During the windstorm Saturday afternoon, a tree near that Tiki blew down on a power line, and it took better than 36 hours to fix it. Luckily the power outage hit the street where the Tiki is sitting and not mine, which is right behind. But my neighbors had to take their kids and go stay with Grandma.

Anonymous said...

just curious, is it sitting on public property? If it is, I wonder if you could request the city take it away as a dumped garbage?