Sunday, December 09, 2007

(Mis)Behaving Myself at "The Golden Compass"

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Want to brighten the day of a bored deity? Buy 'em a ticket to The Golden Compass!

Last night I dragged my reluctant teenagers The Heir and The Spare to see The Golden Compass. The Spare wouldn't have gone at all, except that she saw The Heir schlepping into her coat and didn't want to miss any opportunity to be a financial burden.

When we got to the cineplex, and I was parking the car, The Spare spoke up in her most determined 13-year-old scold voice:

Spare: Mom. Please don't cause a scene at the movie.

Anne: Why, how would I do that, darling?

Spare: Just by being yourself.

I laughed so hard I almost passed out.

The Golden Compass is the second film I've seen recently that was preceded by a well-made cinematic commercial for Wal-Mart. The commercial ends with a graphic that tells the viewer that Wal-Mart "saved the average family $2,500 last year" and then says, "What will you do with the money?"

To which I shout: "Pay more taxes to fund your employees' health care!" Whilst flipping the bird at the screen.

Maybe The Spare has a point.

The Golden Compass was not well-attended at its 8:00 p.m. showing on the Saturday night of its opening weekend. Heir and Spare thought this to be a victory for them -- clearly the thing was going to bore them to tears.

Then it started, and it did make both of them cry, and they sat on the edge of their seats the whole way through it. Afterwards they asked a quadrillion questions about the books and spent the whole drive home discussing what their daemons would be. They both loved it. Especially Heir, who loathes all things Harry Potter.

Folks, if you want to see a movie where the witch is a beautiful heroine and organized religion the villain (no earnest Hollywood attempts to hide that fact change it a bit), you simply must support this film project with your dollars and your prayers.

On the other hand, if all you're looking for is a fabulous evening's entertainment, go see The Golden Compass.

Watch out for that Wal-Mart commercial. By that I mean, sit in the rear of the theatre where little kids won't see you flipping the bird at the screen.


Paul said...

Do you know I cried when the witches came to the rescue - loved the film - even if it proved difficult to portray the scope of the book in 2 hours.

My only criticism of the film is the dreadful 'English' accents and the even worse mock cockney ones in Lyra's Oxford.

Here in Brighid's Isles Wal-Mart took over a local supermarket chain called ASDA - haven't been in one since.

Love your blog,


yellowdoggranny said...

I was a jackie come lately to the dark the book for my nov 11th birthday from junebugg and absolutely loved the 3 books straight through...and you are the second person that saw it that loved it..the dallas paper gave it a b+ but some assholes on tv panned it..(probably go to church every wed and sunday)...I am going to go see it..but will probably flip the bird at walmart commercial I refer to the as the House of Satan..I am taking 3 from west and meeting my 2 granddaughters there..I am getting a tshirt made that says
WHAT WOULD THE GODDESS DO..and wearing it to the granddaughters like it are also known to ask me to refer from embarrasing them...i never listen..

Tennessee Jed said...

I think it is VERY wrong to have commercials at movie houses except for trailers for new films to come. Why you ask, because we are bombarded with commercialism I will be damed if I want to pay $15 for a ticket and $6 for a drink and another $5 for a candy bar to have Wal-Mart shoved up my eye sockets.

I watched it last night on a link from for free and thought it was an excellent film, albeit a camcorder recording in a movie theater the price was right.

Anonymous said...

hey mamma wassup anyway to all you ppl who have a blog and a facebook i have created a group on face book that is for the golden compass because i feel that there is to much bashing of this wonderful movie going on please join the group if u want i mean not forcing u to jez..
K well thats all and also GOLDEN COMPASS KICKS ASS..sorry mamma i go wash my mouth out with soap least i am not the one fliping off at the screen around little kids..btw mamma the screen doesnt have feelings so ur not doing anything to stop it...peace out bloggers!

Buzzardbilly said...

I applaud the screen-flipping and anti-Wal*Fart yelling. I hate that place. I hate what they do to the economy. I haven't stepped a foot in one in years.

Something about them low, low prices makes people mean.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to tell you that I adore your blog. Thanks so much!

Rosie said...

You know, I think this may be playing in Newport. Are the bad guys Catholics? 'Cause they'll show anti-Catholicism stuff. They just won't show things like Jesus Camp. next available 10 bucks is going for this!