Saturday, March 10, 2007

Business for a Bored God

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" We can spell without a checker, but our linkin' is stinkin.'

The best I can to do introduce today's post is to send you to The Wild Hunt, an awesome serious Pagan site. Jason, the author there, will send you further on down the line to another site, BoingBoing, also thoroughly grounded in modern Paganism.

Okay, that's the hat tip and bibliography for today. Go ahead and slap a "D" on my paper. I can take it.

Here's the story:

President Bush has just finished a tour of Guatemala that included a visit to Ixmche, location of the ancient Kakchiquel Mayan Temple. In the aftermath of the presidential visit, the praise and worship team remaining to the ancient bored gods of the Mayan people decided they would have to conduct a thorough cleansing ceremony.

The priesthood of the Mayan pantheon determined that President Bush sowed bad vibes in the temple. It does not take a leap of faith to understand this point of view. President Bush is seen in some meso-American countries as being disrespectful to immigrants and -- gasp, how could this be? -- as a dangerous force of violence in other parts of the world.

So as we speak, the sacred priests of Ixmche are performing careful rituals to rid their house of worship of a demonic presence. We at "The Gods Are Bored" will light candles tonight in solidarity and pray for a successful exorcism.

Chac, the bored Mayan god pictured above, is a frequent visitor to our site. (Pagans take note: This deity does not shrink from lavish displays of sartorial excess.)

Chac is too busy to drop in today, needless to say. But he did send this statement, via his press secretary:

"In solidarity with the struggling poor of my peoples, and in horror at the bloodshed precipitated by the Demon Bush, I must work with my praise and worship team to purify our sacred site. A missionary opportunity like this comes along so seldom that I will be very busy for some time to come. Any queries should be posted to my Office of Public Relations. Someone will get back to you shortly."

You go, Chac! A bored god at work! Blessed be!

And I love the part about "bloodshed precipitated by the Demon Bush." Chac is a Rain God. Ah, the irony.




Tennessee Jed said...

Dirty old Bush, leaves a filth that bleach won't wash off!

Rosie said...

That Chac! What a punster!

I hope they have plenty of smudge sticks...'cause it's gonna take a tire fire of smudge sticks to get that damn spiritual spot out.

Damn. That's gonna take some serious cootie removal.